Eye of the Hurricane

The last three weeks of the semester. I think it is safe to compare these last few weeks to a hurricane. It is simply madness- students are overstressed, cranky, and on edge almost every day all day. I unfortunately have not escaped from this stereotypical time.

I have been unbelievably stressed and busy for the last month. I have learned to cherish if I even have an hour where I can sit and simply do nothing. These moments are few and rare and I appreciate them.

I was walking outside earlier today and I realized that my stress level is slowly coming down as I start to get all my assignments and projects organized and I start to accept the idea that my good friend really is graduating. The storm is starting to calm and yet I know the intensity is going to pick up again next week. It's like I am currently in the eye of the hurricane- there is some rest from the storm but I know that there is still more to come. It is kind of an uncomfortable feeling.

I am simply happy to not be extremely stressed but at the same time I am not looking forward to what is to come in the next few days, weeks, and months. I liked the part of the song above where it talks about God holding us safe during the eye of hurricane. God has worked in my life a lot in the past two weeks and I had litterally gotten to a point where I was so stressed I was physically sick and didn't feel like I could keep going. And then- God gives me the eye of the storm. A time to recoup and to rebuild my strength. A time to pray and be at peace and to know that when the storm starts up again it will be okay.

I may not like the storms of life I am facing right now- and I probably never will. But here is the thing- in every storm you face God is going to give you an "eye of the storm" he will never give you a storm that you can't handle without his help and protection. It may be rough, and you may get hurt in the process. But you will come through it and be a stronger person because of it.

So here is my random thought of the day for you- instead of focusing on the storm you are facing- the stress, anger, frustation, pain, sadness, whatever it is, try focusing in the eye of the storm instead. Focus on God's healing presence and peace and I guarantee you it will make your storm seem less intense and terrifying.

No Whining Allowed!

If you know me at all I tend to whine and complain an awful lot. As I have gotten older I have gotten better about it, but I still can be extremely negative and complain about everything. It's not something that I am particularly happy about, but it is something that I try to work on every day. Today has been an extremely whinny day today. I have complained from the moment I hit my snooze button this morning to right now while I am sitting at work. Every little thing has been making me whine today and I finally had some time to sit down and just think and this is what hit me- the whining and complaining has got to stop and it needs to stop now.

As I was realizing this, I was thinking about how Facebook connects to my constant complaining. I tell people all the time that I use my Facebook as a form of witnessing by sharing Bible verses, song lyrics, blog posts etc. And it is true that I do do this. But what I realized this afternoon was I also use Facebook as my personal whine center to share with the world whatever I need to complain about for the moment. All day I have wanted to put something up as my status along the lines of "I am grumpy. I have a migrane. And we had a pop quiz in Anatomy that I bombed. Cool." But I didn't want to because I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. I never would have thought about this before I gave up Facebook for Lent this year. I would have just thrown up the status and let the Marissa Pity Party begin. But not anymore.

I am not saying that it is wrong for me to have bad days and I have to be captain perky pants all the time. But at the same time- I don't need to complain about it to all my friends and family 24/7. When someone asks how I am my response does not always have to start with "This is why my day has been crappy so far.... But I am great other than that."Do I need to be real with people? Yes. Can I tell people when I am having a bad day? Yes. But does it need to be the center of my world anymore? No. And I am choosing for it not to be.

So here is my resolution- My Facebook will no longer be a place of complaining or whining. There will be no more dumb status updates about how sick I feel or how much I hate Anatomy. I want my life to be a reflection of the hope and joy that Jesus has given me. Not the struggles that I face everyday. 

If you take nothing else from this post, think about this: What kind of reflection is your life to others? Are you shining the hope of Jesus? Or spreading the dispare and unhappiness of the world? What simple things can you do to try and stop complaining and start living in hope? 

My Mid-College Crisis

A few weeks ago these little slips of paper showed up on a lot of the doors on campus. They had things that said "Take what you need: Hope, courage, motivation, love"...etc. As soon as I saw motivation I quickly tore it off and put it in my pocket. Later in the week, I was checking my mail and it fell out of my pocket. I didn't find it again until I walked by that part of campus later in the day. I made a joke saying "Motivation! You can't run away from me! The semester isn't over yet! I need you!" And then here comes the best part- I accidentally threw away the slip of paper about 10 minutes later. I threw my motivation in the trash. Awesome. 

I have had ZERO motivation to do absolutely anything over the past few weeks. My second year at Concordia is almost finished, and I have begun to reflect on my time here so far. In short- I can see the end. I can see the finish line and in a lot of ways that is terrifying to me. I feel like I am in a mid college crisis instead of a midlife crisis. One of my best friends is graduating in a few weeks and it is becoming more of a reality each and every day. Nothing is working out so far for the start of my Junior year. It is possible that I am just being pessimistic, but I just want some assurance it is going to be a good year and so far I haven't had any. 

Part of me has felt like maybe if I stop doing things maybe time will slow down and I will have more control. So far? Not happening. I don't know what is going to happen, and I honestly don't know where my motivation is going to come from to get me through these next few weeks physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I know that I will, and I know that Jesus is in control. So here is my random thought of the day for you: You may not have the motivation that you need to get through today. But God can get you through even if you don't want to. He is going to get me through my mid-college crisis and I can't wait to look back on this and thank God for being all the motivation I need.