He's Not Finished With Me Yet

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4 

I love to paint. I will be the first to admit that I am not very good unless I sit down and take a lot of time (meaning weeks) to work on a piece. So usually when I paint it is simple, yet has some sort of meaning and doesn't take me more than a couple of hours to complete. I find painting extremely therapeutic and soothing. It helps to relieve my stress, and to express emotion I may not be able to in other ways.

Tonight, I finger-painted for the first time in a long time. I love how paint feels on your hands and how much you can do with it on the paper. As I was creating my "masterpiece" this evening I came up with an analogy for life.

We are God's original masterpeice. The events and emotions in our lives create the colors that go onto the canvas. Many times in life, we want to be happy 24/7. We don't want to deal with mad, sad, hurt, ashamed or afraid. We just want to be happy. But in order to create his masterpiece, God needs a variety of colors. He needs the red of pain, and the blue of sadness to create purple, the color of royalty, to crown you as his prince or princess when you return to the kingdom of heaven. He needs the yellow of happiness and the blue of fear to create the spring of new life of green. What if we only let him use the color of happiness? How boring would a plain yellow canvas be?! We need to stop fighting these emotions and let the master artist complete his vision. It may look messy right now, but one day He will step back and say "It is finished!" and it will all become beautiful and clear. 

Every Moment Has A Purpose

Today, was a rough day on a lot of levels but on the outside most people probably had no idea I was having a rough day. But what started out rough, slowly but surely turned into something incredible.

I started out my day by going to IKEA and picking out a new bed with my family. It was crazy busy, and I was really stressed by the time I left the store. But, I got a really cute new bed, so that is a plus. After I left IKEA I headed over to Ann Arbor to go on a "coffee date" and later to a college ministry event with one of my best friends Ashley.

When I pulled out of my driveway to head out for coffee I was tired, cranky, and not wanting to be around people. I was praying on my way to Starbucks and saying something along the lines of "God, I don't want to be around people right now. I don't want to deal with anyone, I don't want to think about anything. Why am I even going to this thing? There is no one who is even going to know me other than Conco people." I pulled into Starbucks a very defeated little girl shaking from all my stress and anxiety and just wanting to be done with the day. 

I sit down for coffee with my friend and we begin to talk like we always do and it was simply amazing to me to hear about all the ways God is working in both of our lives. It really made me take a step back and kind of be like-"Oh yeah. God's in control. Not me. He's got this, and he has got a super amazing plan for me, why am I stressing?!" So we are talking about some things and I mention how I have felt that God was wanting me to do some things but I just wasn't doing them for some reason. Ashley encouraged me to listen to God and he would make what I needed to do clear and if I asked him give me a desire to do them.

After we did coffee, we headed back to Conco to make dinner with some of our friends before we headed out to a college ministry thing we were invited too. We had NO idea what was going to happen at this event, and were just trusting it was where God wanted us to be tonight because we all felt we needed to go. By this point, I was confident that this is where God wanted me tonight and I was ready to go along for the ride- even though I had no idea what that was going to mean.

We went to this group, and it was totally 100% different than I expected! I got there only to realize that I had been invited to this group a few weeks ago by one of my WCA friend's parents. It was crazy- God obviously wanted me there tonight! I had some great conversations with people tonight, and God gave me some pretty clear answers to some things I have been praying about. God showed me his plan and purpose in so many ways tonight it was unreal. Not only did he fill my spiritual needs, he also showed me some personal things and I was simply blown away.Things tonight directly connected to what I had been talking about with Ashley only hours before. I was sitting tonight at this bonfire thinking "God, can you honestly be anymore clear right now?!" It was amazing. Don't underestimate the small moments in life- the frustrations, the coffee dates, the bonfires. Every moment and every random thought is part of God's plan for you and it will all come together and you will simply be amazed. 

Am I really Losing?

Tenth Avenue North is one of my favorite bands. They have a new cd coming out in August and this is one of the songs they realeased earlier this summer. I love it. I feel like it is the story of my life right now. I am really struggling with forgiving some people who have hurt me. I keep thinking that I have forgiven them, and then suddenly I am extremely angry and upset about the situation again. But here is what I have to continue to learn- Forgiveness is not a one time thing. We have to choose every single day to forgive those who hurt us even if they do it all day everyday. Realizing this and doing it are two very different things. I wish I could say that I have mastered forgivness, but I haven't. I'm not perfect and never will be. I really do feel like I am the one losing this time, I know I am not but it sure doesn't feel like it. Forgiving and forgetting is one of the biggest lies that there is out there. You can forgive someone but not forget the pain they caused you. Someone once told me that when you forgive someone you begin to look at them as a human again that simply made a mistake instead of "the person that hurt me" or "the person I am mad at". I hate losing games, and I hate that I feel like I am losing this battle that in reality is not mine to fight.

I hope this post makes you take a step back and think about some of the people that you may need to work on forgiving in your life. Im not saying it is a one step process, or even a one day or year process but a life long process. It's worth it in the end even if we feel like we are the ones that are losing.

Father, please give us the grace to forgive them.

Moments to Cherish

Bleach and Ballons. That is the summary of my afternoon, and yet it was one of the best afternoons of my entire life. You wouldn't think that these two things would necessarily go together, and yet at a children's hospital they go hand in hand.

When I first arrived at Mott this afternoon I was told that we needed to start bleaching the entire playroom because a very contagious illness had started spreading on the floor. It also made me again realize how precious life is. We fly through our days and never think about things like germs affecting our life. We take the health that we have for granted and don't use it to the fullest of our capabilities. I know there are kids on that floor who would love to be able to run around and yet they can't. And here I sit saying I am going to start working out again, but I don't. I come up with every excuse in the book so that I don't have to work out, and yet God has blessed me with abilities that I am wasting. Now granted- I am not in perfect health and I have some restrictions, but I think we all do. But I can use the gifts that God has given me in more ways than I am right now. And that is the first moment of my day that I really took away with me today. Am I just going to sit here and waste the life God has give me? Or am I going to actually use the gifts God has given me?

The second moment I cherished today was the balloons. I spent some time with a little 2.5 year old girl this afternoon. The Child Life team had a Father's Day party this afternoon and had about six leftover ballons. My little friend and I along with another volunteer walked around her floor and handed out the ballons to all the daddies we could find. She kept hopping and bouncing around saying "daddies! daddies! ballons! daddies!" It was precious. Even at 2.5 she was so excited to share her balloons with new friends. It really made me take a step back and realize what is important in life. It's little moments like this that are important. Not winning a million dollars, or getting a new car, but making someone who is hurting smile.

Volunteering at Mott is one of the best decisions that I have ever made. Today I want to encourage you to find something where you can give back and take a step back and forget about everything going on in your life for a while and pay attention to someone else for a little while.

Sometimes I think I'm Missing It

Have you ever gotten to the end of the week and wondered where the week went? Sometimes we are on the go so much that we speed through our days without taking the time to cherish every second that we are alive. I have been contemplating this idea for a while now, and I have realized that I am almost incapable of living "in the moment"I get so wrapped up in my past and future that I honestly forget about the present.

You might have noticed people using the phrase "YOLO" a lot recently. It means "You Only Live Once". Some Christians disagree with this saying because through Jesus we get to live for all eternity, so in reality we live life after death. But in some regards, this phrase is something we really should pay attention to- We only get one shot of life on earth. After that depends on if we have chosen to let Jesus be our Savior. We have one shot to show Christ to people each moment of our day, one shot to cherish the time God has given us here to bring more people to him. And how many of us just fly through our days just wanting to make it to the weekend, or retirement, or vacation or whatever? What if we are so wrapped up in the past or present that we miss what God wants us to pay attention to today?

I have come to the conclusion that I don't just want to "get through" each day, but I want to cherish and appreciate each moment that God has given me and stop trying to speed on to the next one or look back at something I regret or miss. My goal for the summer is to blog once a day and capture a picture or post a song that goes with a blessing or simple "moment" from my day. I'm not going to race through my days anymore. God created me for something beautiful, and I am going to enjoy the ride.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep flying through your days just wishing you could skip to the next big thing? Or are you going to take some time and slow down and enjoy the life God has given you? This is your life- please don't miss it!

For I Know the Plans I Have For You....

This is me and one of my best friends Ashley Hart. For those of you who don't know, Ashley was my Spiritual Life Rep in my dorm my freshman year. We have gotten supe close over the past two years and she is like my older sister. 


Tonight, I experienced one of the most terrifying feelings I think one can experience. I got a FB note from Ashley telling me along with many others about an amazing thing she experienced today, almost dying in the process. I went through so many emotions when I realized my friend almost just died, but I simply got to the point where I just couldn't stop thanking God for how wonderful he truly is and how he really does have an amazing plan for every part of our life. Here is her story. 

I, Ashley Hart, am thankful, today, for my life and for the lives of those around me. 
Today..... I experienced a testimony beyond the stretch of my imagination. I sit on my sister's couch in Chicago half dampened by the drying water of Lake Michigan and half by the sweat from the end of the most productive run of my life. Crying is all I want to do because I am so in awe of the literal saving grace of our Creator and Savior but there is no time for that as I have to write this down. 

Friends, I sat at the end of this pier alone and confused, praying for wisdom, purity and clarity in my life. On a beach filled with what felt like half of Chicago at 5pm, I was blessed to have this pier to myself after having a tough few weeks I was hear to take a break from it all. I watched the perfect view in front of me. I held my knees and soaked in selfish thoughts. I have been asking God the past few weeks to reveal who he is to me more and to open my eyes to it, I was soon to learn just how selfless our God really is. 

I got up to walk back across the beach to run more when I saw seven black children walking, making their way up the pier with no parent in sight. I kept walking thinking, good thing I am leaving for it was no longer my own pier. They stopped midway on the pier and started looking over the side of the ledge. The no diving sign painted on the ground not daunting to any of us standing there. I kept walking and stopped, noticing that they were about to atempt to all jump in at the same time. Excited they were, yelling and encouraging each other to count down together. The oldest I found out later was a 15 year old girl and the youngest had to have been a 4 year old boy. I put my my hands on my hips as I waited from afar for one of the boys to count down from ten for them all to jump in. 

10-9-8-3-2-1.......the two oldest girls jump in. I turned and kept walking but then heard screaming. I looked back. Both girls were throwing there hands in the air and screaming as they went above and below the waves of Lake Michigan. Their siblings and cousins were yelling and screaming, all to young to know what to do. Are they messing around? Where is everyone, no one is around. I run over the railing, take of my shoes and phone and jump in after them. Motivated by one of the boys screaming, "jump, girl, jump." Thank God for him. 

One is under water, the other was struggling to stay above, both pulling each other under. I grab the one under water soon realizing I cannot stay above either. I cannot touch, I can barely carry one and the other girl is pulling me down. My panic mode is in gear. I swam to the wall but with nothing to grab on to and no one around to help except the absolutely scared out of there minds children above. I thought, Oh my goodness, I could die with these two beautiful girls right hear on a beach on Lake Michigan. I can't even help one let alone both. I even had to throw them off a second to let myself sink to touch the bottom and push off to get a better breath. I was drowning. Helpless. Hopeless. Scared. I cannot remember if I said this out loud or in my head but I screamed Jesus I need you, no one is here. I am going to die, and these two girls will die with me. I cannot do this alone. I am not strong enough. Jesus, I need you. Help me. I need you. 

The wave passed and I could touch. Between the waves I was able to hold us up from touching the ground. Me and Jesus, together, were able to grab the second girls hand and hold the first girl and walk us into shallow water. Telling them to look at me I said, girls, by the grace of God we are alive. 

A testimony of his literal saving grace. Jesus saved my life today. Jesus also saved these two girls lives, whom I wish I remembered there names. He died on the cross to save us and I don't think I would have been able to die for those two girls as I grasped for my own air. But he died saving the whole world, the generations of the past 2000 years and until he returns. My understanding of his sacrifice increased quite a bit today, I would say alot. 

He taught me something today amidst all of it. An testominy to me and you. The creator of the universe not only died to save the whole world when I could not even save these two girls but he also took the time to save us three as I called out for him in a prayer of absolute desparation. He is with us always. He saves. He loves. 

He loved those two girls so incredibly much. He was so aware that they had no idea how to swim that he ordained me to stop at that one pier, on this one day, at that one time, in this one city. He loves them and he loves me. He saved the three of us because I was surely not going to be the one to do it. 

We walked out of the water to a lifeguard.....with nothing but fright and a few cuts on my knee. We are saved and unscaved. Amazing. A miracle in my mind as I honestly have never been so sure I was not going to live another day. 

All I know is, God is in the business of answering prayers and he sent his son to save us from our sins every single day of our lives. Today, he answered my prayer and saved us from the mirky floor of Lake Michigan. Praise you Jesus. 

After taking these precious children of God to their older cousin I walked a little, cried a little, then ran as fast as I could with my shoes and no socks back here to write this to all of you. 

I hope you see the story in all of this. It is not that I, Ashley Hart, jumped into Lake Michigan and valiantly saved these girls. It is that I, Ashley Hart, was ordained to jump in that water and through Jesus Christ was able to save those girls. I was not strong enough. But Jesus is. He is most definitely strong enough. 

If you don't know Jesus today or if he has not been a part of your life for some time, just ask him into your heart. He loves you so much. Ask him to come into your heart and tell him that you accept him as your Lord and Savior, forgiving you of all of your sins. That you want his saving grace and you want him to change your life. I can promise you he will answer your prayer. Write me back and I would love to tell you more about the Savior that saved me and those two girls lives and that changed my life three years ago. 

If you do know Jesus, then let this extend your faith. The literalness of this experience today in how it exemplifies th message of the Gospel leaves me in awe. I hope it touches your heart as much as it does mine.

He desires for to this for each and everyone of you every single day of your life. He desires you. He loves you. 

I am grateful to be alive today and even more grateful I get to share this all with you. Pass this on, tell others about the amazing love of our God. I sent this to you all but I know there are tons more people that would benefit from this testominy within my own life and within yours. 

Thank you Jesus for our lives today and every day. I pray, Lord, that this touches more lives than I know, that this testimony is one that changes the lives of people that know you and people that are yet to know you. I also pray Lord that the people that read this would find someone to help them them know you better, whether it be through me or through someone else in their life. We love you, Lord. Thank you.

If you take nothing out of this post today- know this; God loves you more than anything and he wants to be your savior. He wants to save you just like he saved Ashley and those two girls today. It doesn't matter what you have done or even what you might do in the future- He wants to save you! To love you, to hold you when you are hurting, to cry with you to laugh with you. He wants to be your Savior. So I ask you, if you haven't already, will you let him save you today?