Sin Never Looked So Sweet

I have grown up in church my entire life. I could probably tell you the story of Adam and Eve backwards and forwards, every detail in place. I have had countless conversations about what "kind" of fruit Eve ate... Was it an apple? Or some other rare tropical fruit? etc. etc. But yesterday, this story became real to me in a way I never in a million years expected.

As many of you know, I have this wonderful thing called Fructose Malabsorption aka I can't eat anything that has fructose in it. Fruit generally has a lot of fructose since it is a natural sugar. I never really liked fruit growing up. Funny how that worked out since my body can't really process it. ANYWAY. Apples (one of the only fruits I actually like take note) have the highest amount of fructose out of almost anything on earth. So, needless to say I have avoided Apples like the plague since I was diagnosed last December. I have done really well- I haven't eaten a full apple since last december. I have had bits here and there, but never enough to make me feel too awful.

Well yesterday I was at Meijer, and I saw this:

Probably the most mouth watering, delicious looking caramel apple I have ever seen in my entire LIFE. So, after a solid minute and a half of debating about whether or not it would make me sick, I bought it. And I raced back to Concordia mouth watering, dying to eat this piece of heaven. 

I took the first bite, and my mouth died and went to heaven. It was SO good. So so so so good. I literally chowed on that thing almost down to the stick. I thought "WOW. I cannot believe how much I have missed apples!!!!!"

And then. The stomach ache came. I have not felt this sick in over a year. When I eat something really "bad" it legit knocks me out. I sleep and sleep while my body tries to digest this food it doesn't know what to do with. So, I slept for almost 2.5 hours and woke up in tears questioning whether or not I was going to get sick. And then the thought hit me: This is probably how Eve felt after she ate the apple. At first, it was glorious and then it was wayyyy beyond awful.

There is a good reason why I was told by my doctor not to eat apples- They will make me sick. God had good reason for Adam and Eve not to eat the apple in the garden- They would become mortal and die. Sometimes, there are good reasons why we cannot do things that seem absolutely harmless. While they may be harmless at first, the effect from one choice later on could be devastating.

When I think of the story of Adam and Eve, I used to think "EVE. How could you be so stupid?!?! That fruit had "bad" written all over it! How could you even think twice about eating it?!" In my mind this is what the fruit that Eve ate looked like on the tree:

But in reality? No way. That fruit to Eve looked to her like my caramel apple looked to me. Yes, she knew the possible consequences from eating it, but I fell into the same trap that she did: You won't really know until you try it. And BOOM. Satan comes in. Done. Sin. The whole world changed based on one decision. For the first time in my life, I feel like I cannot despise Eve for what she did. Man, if I was in her shoes and that beautiful caramel apple was hanging on that tree I would have probably eaten it too even if I thought I might die from it.

So here is my random thought of the day for you: Sin is not always going to look like a scary apple who is going to bite your face off if you try to eat it. It's not always going to look ugly. Sometimes things that are super bad for us and super sinful are going to look really, really, really good and be super tempting. And a lot of times, we are going to go for it and not realize till afterwards that we really, really screwed up this time. But God's grace and forgiveness is big enough for the biggest screw ups, even Adam and Eve size screw ups. So no matter what "caramel apples" you are facing today, trust that God will forgive you for your past, and know that he will help you avoid the temptation again in the future.

And yes, I did learn my lesson. I will NEVER eat a caramel apple ever again!!!! 

Beautiful Children of God

Today was a great day at Ann Arbor Assembly of God. To be honest, it was one of those days for me that I had to force myself to go. But once I got there, I knew God had big plans with the time I was there.

At my church, we have all different styles of worship. Some quietly sit in their seats and pray, while others come up to the alter and raise their hands and sing as loud as they can, as well as everything in between. Due to it being Missions Sunday, the kids stayed out in worship with their parents instead of going straight back to Victory Kids (aka children's church). Normally, I wouldn't notice something like this, but today there were a few parents and kids that caught my attention. The first thing I noticed- the kids sing very loudly and are not ashamed if they are not on key. They are just so in love with Jesus they can't keep it in. And hearing these kids shout today "IF OUR GOD IS FOR US, THEN WHO CAN EVER STOP US?!" and raising their hands and clapping just brought tears to my eyes. They want the world to know who their savior is! I thought for a brief moment "I wish I felt like I had the freedom to let everything go and worship like they do!" But that is the beauty of what I am learning through going to A3OG, we do have that freedom to worship as children of God!

The second thing I noticed, Pastor Jeremy (our youth pastor) was worshipping up at the front alter with his young son. I watched as his son sang the songs and just kept looking at his daddy and every couple minutes would just break out in a huge smile. After a couple of times of this, PJ looks at him, and he just smiles and bends down and wraps his arms around him and picks him up in a huge hug and they continue worshiping together with the daddy holding his son.

I thought of all these things, and I just started to cry. These things reminded me so clearly that we do not need to have this huge, dignified faith. We need only to have the faith of a child trusting their daddy. And it was just beautiful to see these children so in love with their heavenly father and so trusting of him. It really made me take a step back and listen to what my heavenly father has been wanting to say to me recently.

So here is my random thought of the day for you: Stop trying to have it all together. Be free like a child and run to your daddy and fall into his embrace. He loves you SO much and is not requiring anything of you. Just trust him and his embrace tonight. He loves you as his sweet son or daughter, don't ever forget that!!

Jesus Loves YOU

Wow! I have had quite the whirlwhind of experiences here at Concordia over the past few days!! I am only going to highlight one of them though :) 

(Picture from last spring on Ash Wednesday)

This is Sara and PJ Goeke. They came to Concordia from Austin, Texas for the second time to talk to us about sex and relationships over the past few days. Most would think that no one would want to talk to complete strangers about something like this. It's awkward, uncomfortable, and to some may seem unnecessary. But let me just say, these two show the love of Christ in ways I can barely explain. They talked with us as student leaders on how to help our residents overcome sexual temptation through Christ, as well as helping ourselves or our other leaders if that is something we struggle with. We talked about how to set up boundaries in relationships, and how guys and girls think and act and react differently to situations. It was SO informative and so helpful for working on a college campus!

But PJ and Sara did SO much more than just talk to us about sex. On Tuesday, they set aside their entire day simply to interact with individual students. To sit with us, listen to us, laugh and cry and pray with us regardless if what we were facing had to do with the reason why they came to talk to us. They had individual girl/guys night and just spent time getting to know our hearts. I got to spend some time sharing my story with them, and had my mind blown as they shared wisdom and guidance for the area of my life that I am in right now.

And now, today. Their last day at Concordia. After one final session, I gave both Sara and PJ a hug goodbye, and promised to keep in touch with them so that we could continue the conversation we had yesterday. And as I walked out of the chapel, I couldn't help but start to cry. I have only known these people for appx. 3 days, and yet the words they shared with me changed my life both personally, and how I will be interacting with my residents from now on.

I won't go into everything we talked about. Honestly, that would be a blog post in itself, and some of it is just too personal to go blabbing about on the internet. But here is the main point that I walked away with yesterday from my time with them: Jesus Loves YOU. You are his child, his prince or princess. He loves you. Even though you are broken, dirty, sinful and shameful he loves you! SO much that he died on the cross for you- the ultimate form of shame and pain and he did it for you! I read a quote somewhere that said something like "The cross is one of the most common objects that represents hope, healing, forgiveness and love to the Christian church. But when we look back in history crucifixion was the most brutal way to die. How can something so awful be seen as something that brings hope? Because through that horrifying experience God gave us salvation. Without it, we could not be reunited with God." Wow. How powerful is that?! I don't know what you have experienced in your life. Many of you have probably experienced things a lot worse than me. But I want you to truly sit in this and listen to these words today: JESUS LOVES YOU. And he has not now, or will not EVER leave your side. Through every trial you face HE IS WITH YOU. He is taking whatever awful experiences you have had, and going to use them for something absolutely incredible. So. I want to encourage you to take 5 minutes and listen to this song posted below and just rest in his love today. Stop trying to move forward, to heal, to earn more money, to forget the past, WHATEVER it is. Just stop. Listen and sit at his feet and be a child and bask in his love because he ADORES YOU! And only when you truly recognize and accept his love will you truly be free!