2014: Another Chapter Coming to a Close

2014. This has truly been a year I will never forget! I have looked forward to this year since 2010- the next BIG year of my life because I would graduate college. I never knew I would have loved this year for so many more reasons than that! I have grown SO much over the past year, it is mind blowing to me! I have experienced joy and heartbreak, I have lost loved ones, grown in my faith immensely and truly began to enjoy this beautiful life God has given me. As I look forward to 2015, I cannot help but get super excited to see where God is going to take me. He took me out of some of the deepest pits of pain and frustration this past year that I have ever experienced this past year and brought joy and healing from them. I can only begin to imagine what 2015 will bring!

So as 2014 comes to a close, I want to share with you a few of the highlights from this past year!

January 

In January I started my Child Life Internship at Beaumont Children's Hospital in Royal Oak, MI. This was definitely a blessing in disguise! It became apparent that the site was not a good fit for me early into my internship, and I struggled quite a bit throughout this time. But, God truly brought me through it and showed me what my true calling is. While I did not see the end of this struggle until mid November, I learned so much about myself from the time I spent at Beaumont and would not change it for anything!! 

 

February

I turned 22, and my peanut turned 2! It has been so awesome watching Levi develop a little personality!! He is definitely one of my favorite people to spend time with! :) 

March 

I finished my Child Life Internship!!!!!!!!!! Turning in my badge was truly one of the happiest days of my life! It was such a relief knowing I was never going to have to go back! 

I was able to take part in my final Middle School Tool Time. I cried so hard, as this is an event that I miss more than words can say!!! It has been SUCH a huge blessing doing these events over the past four years!

April 

McKenzie Grace was born! Definitely the highlight of April, and definitely one of the top highlights of the year!! I love this little girl more than any words can say!! 

May

Graduation!!!!! Ahhhh. It was SUCH a relief to be done with school, but bittersweet about the concept of leaving Concordia. 

LONDON!!!!!!!! Definitely one of the top highlights of the year, if not my life in general. I LOVED this city more than words can say and I truly cannot wait to get back there someday!!!!! I had so much fun, and learned so much about a different culture!

June

In June I started work for one last summer with the Maintenance team. It was definitely the best summer ever!!! My co-workers were so much fun, and we had a blast! I miss them so much!! 

July

I got to go to the Toledo Zoo for the first time in many years with my good friend Andi! We had a blast seeing all the animals and walking around for the day!!

August 

In August I moved out of my dorm at Concordia for the last time. It was very bittersweet with a lot of tears. It is still hard for me to believe that I am already done with school!!

September 

In September I started my job at the BLOCK Youth and Teen Center! It has been such a HUGE blessing working with these kids over the past few months, and my co- workers are awesome! It has been incredible to me to see how God has oriented each step of his plan for me and seeing how each piece is falling into place. 

October

In October I got to see my good friend Jessica in her fall play "Little Women". It was so awesome to hang out with friends and see Jessica shine! :)

November 

In November I got offered the job at Shelterwood!!! I spent months praying about this opportunity, and it was such a HUGE blessing to be given this opportunity! I truly cannot wait to move to Missouri and start working with this incredible ministry!!!! 

December

I had the privelege of singing in my first Boar's Head as a alumni, and I actually got to watch the performance and not perform for the first time ever. The performance brought me to tears, it was so beautiful, and I loved every minute of it!!!

These are some of the more fun things I experienced over this past year... There were also MANY struggles. I had relatives pass away, my car was dead for 3/4 of the year, I had many, many, many financial struggles, friendships fell apart, depression and anxiety wrecked havoc, and I decided to change what I was doing with my life a 1/3 of the way into the year. If I am being honest, this was probably one of the most frustrating, irritating years I have ever experienced. 

But now sitting here at the end, I am humble and amazed. I am blown away to see how God brought me through each of these moments. I could not have gotten through this year on my own- it is in Christ's strength alone that I made it through! I am blessed to see how many friends and family I got to enjoy spending time with, and who stuck with me when times got very tough. 

I posted a pic like the one below last year, and I still love the quote this year. But there is a difference this year, and it's my resolution for 2015. I am not going to be the one writing my story this year. Over the past year, I have worked hard to give control of my life and learn to trust to God, and that is truly my only goal and hope for 2015, that no matter what I face or encounter that I will go about it in a way that is pleasing to God and brings others around me to him. 

This year challenged me in a way that I truly cannot put into words, and yet in a lot of ways I am sad to see it go. It's a little bittersweet, just like most of the this year has been. But if 2014 was this incredible, I can only imagine what 2015 will bring. So here is to a New Year following Jesus and going wherever he leads me! I can't wait! <3 nbsp="" p="">

"To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. it's about knowing and accepting who you are." - Ellen DeGeneresw

I've never been all that "girly". Growing up, I loved dirt in the sandbox over frilly tutus, and would have rather been playing in a soccer game in high school than going to a dance or painting my nails. But if you were to ask me at any point throughout elementary through high school if I thought I was beautiful? I wouldn't have answered you. I probably would have just walked away. Because in reality? I did not feel beautiful. I felt ugly, and unwanted by most of my peers, and just assumed that most girls felt the same way I did.

As I got into college, that very slowly faded away. I became much more confident in myself as a person, and truly began to love who I have become as a person, flaws and all. It took a lot of work, and a LOT of learning about my identity in Christ vs. the identity that the world gives me. And truly? It is a daily fight. I constantly have to remind myself that I am not defined by the world's standards but by who Christ defines me as. In reality, I am still not very "girly". But I have MUCH more appreciation for a pencil skirt, and curls in my hair than I ever would have in high school!!

But I also have changed from the perspective that I don't feel the need to "look" a certain way in order to feel beautiful. In late high school/early college, I got to a point where I would not leave the house without makeup. In reality, I don't wear much makeup at all. A little mascara, and eyeliner and thats it. But, my makeup was a mask for me. In reality I do look A LOT different with the little bit of make up that I do wear. It made me feel pretty, and made me feel valued when people would comment on my make up when I first started wearing it. But slowly, I've gotten to a point where I don't feel the need to wear make up at all times. Generally, I still do. But I don't "need" it anymore to feel that I am beautiful.

Here is where this all comes into play, I work at a youth and teen center with middle school and high school teens. The other day, I went to work out at the gym prior to going to work. I didn't put on make up because lets be real- I was going to get hot and sweaty and didn't feel like having to redo my make up again after showering. After I worked out, I got distracted and rushed right before I had to leave to come to work. I pulled in the parking lot of our building, looked in my rearview mirror and realized I hadn't put on make up before I left. I was already running late and didn't have time to go back home. I freaked out for a second thinking "Oh my gosh! What are the kids gonna say?!" And then I realized, I don't care what they think. My identity isn't based on what the kids think of me. So I put a smile on and went to work. I had two of my students come up to me and semi freak out when they saw I wasn't wearing make up. I calmly told them I decided not to wear make up today, and that was it. I had one of the girls say to me "Wow. You're brave." It made me think- how many of these girls I work with struggled with the same things I did in middle school and high school? How many of them feel they have to look a certain way to be accepted by their peers? It makes me sad to think about, and I wish that I could change their perception now while they are still young.

The next day, I had a conversation with another one of our girls. She asked me what I was doing after work and I told her I was going to work out. She says to me "Marissa, you don't need to work out. You are already too skinny." I was totally taken aback for a second (as in reality I am not too skinny lol) but I said to her "_______ I don't work out because I want to be skinny. I work out because I want to be healthy." She says "We all know thats a big fat lie. No one works out because they really want to be healthy. They all just wanna be skinny so people will like them." As much as I tried I couldn't convince her otherwise.

Is this what our society has come to? To girls believing that they only have worth and value and beauty if they are skinny and wear the right kind of makeup?Believing that the only reason to work out is to lose weight? What happened to being healthy just to feel good?! It makes me sick. I want to just give these girls a hug and say "Don't you see?! You're amazing JUST the way you are!" It only makes me more passionate to working with these kids full time. I can't wait to be able to work with kids and their families and show them their worth in Christ. I can't wait to teach parents how to help their girls feel beautiful as little princess's at four, and beautiful as teens in high school. If you have the opportunity, encourage a young lady that is in your life. Tell her that she's beautiful and loved. She may need it more than you know!