"To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. it's about knowing and accepting who you are." - Ellen DeGeneresw

I've never been all that "girly". Growing up, I loved dirt in the sandbox over frilly tutus, and would have rather been playing in a soccer game in high school than going to a dance or painting my nails. But if you were to ask me at any point throughout elementary through high school if I thought I was beautiful? I wouldn't have answered you. I probably would have just walked away. Because in reality? I did not feel beautiful. I felt ugly, and unwanted by most of my peers, and just assumed that most girls felt the same way I did.

As I got into college, that very slowly faded away. I became much more confident in myself as a person, and truly began to love who I have become as a person, flaws and all. It took a lot of work, and a LOT of learning about my identity in Christ vs. the identity that the world gives me. And truly? It is a daily fight. I constantly have to remind myself that I am not defined by the world's standards but by who Christ defines me as. In reality, I am still not very "girly". But I have MUCH more appreciation for a pencil skirt, and curls in my hair than I ever would have in high school!!

But I also have changed from the perspective that I don't feel the need to "look" a certain way in order to feel beautiful. In late high school/early college, I got to a point where I would not leave the house without makeup. In reality, I don't wear much makeup at all. A little mascara, and eyeliner and thats it. But, my makeup was a mask for me. In reality I do look A LOT different with the little bit of make up that I do wear. It made me feel pretty, and made me feel valued when people would comment on my make up when I first started wearing it. But slowly, I've gotten to a point where I don't feel the need to wear make up at all times. Generally, I still do. But I don't "need" it anymore to feel that I am beautiful.

Here is where this all comes into play, I work at a youth and teen center with middle school and high school teens. The other day, I went to work out at the gym prior to going to work. I didn't put on make up because lets be real- I was going to get hot and sweaty and didn't feel like having to redo my make up again after showering. After I worked out, I got distracted and rushed right before I had to leave to come to work. I pulled in the parking lot of our building, looked in my rearview mirror and realized I hadn't put on make up before I left. I was already running late and didn't have time to go back home. I freaked out for a second thinking "Oh my gosh! What are the kids gonna say?!" And then I realized, I don't care what they think. My identity isn't based on what the kids think of me. So I put a smile on and went to work. I had two of my students come up to me and semi freak out when they saw I wasn't wearing make up. I calmly told them I decided not to wear make up today, and that was it. I had one of the girls say to me "Wow. You're brave." It made me think- how many of these girls I work with struggled with the same things I did in middle school and high school? How many of them feel they have to look a certain way to be accepted by their peers? It makes me sad to think about, and I wish that I could change their perception now while they are still young.

The next day, I had a conversation with another one of our girls. She asked me what I was doing after work and I told her I was going to work out. She says to me "Marissa, you don't need to work out. You are already too skinny." I was totally taken aback for a second (as in reality I am not too skinny lol) but I said to her "_______ I don't work out because I want to be skinny. I work out because I want to be healthy." She says "We all know thats a big fat lie. No one works out because they really want to be healthy. They all just wanna be skinny so people will like them." As much as I tried I couldn't convince her otherwise.

Is this what our society has come to? To girls believing that they only have worth and value and beauty if they are skinny and wear the right kind of makeup?Believing that the only reason to work out is to lose weight? What happened to being healthy just to feel good?! It makes me sick. I want to just give these girls a hug and say "Don't you see?! You're amazing JUST the way you are!" It only makes me more passionate to working with these kids full time. I can't wait to be able to work with kids and their families and show them their worth in Christ. I can't wait to teach parents how to help their girls feel beautiful as little princess's at four, and beautiful as teens in high school. If you have the opportunity, encourage a young lady that is in your life. Tell her that she's beautiful and loved. She may need it more than you know!