The Flowers Come to Show, That All that Rain was Helping Me to Grow!

Most people aren't thinking about rain at the end of December, at least not here in Michigan. But tonight, I have had rain on the brain. Above is one of my favorite songs called "Rain" by Sara Groves 

My friend Stephanie wrote a poem about the healing rain of God earlier this evening and it got me thinking. Her poem talked about God drenching us in his love and pouring his love, security, and peace onto us as we go about our lives. It was just beautiful.

Thinking about where I was a year ago, I cannot believe how far I have come. I cannot believe how much has changed and how many things I have experienced. Many times when I am talking about the "rain" in my life I am talking about the hard times that I don't really want to deal with but I know that I have too in order to be the person God wants me to be. But Stephanie's poem showed me that there is another view of rain that we may not think about everyday. Rain is not a bad thing- It may cause us to be hurting, sad, angry, or even afraid. But in that rain and in the storm, we can always see God. His love in every single one of those raindrops that hit us. When I think of God's love in a torrential  downpour, it just makes me smile from ear to ear and just soak it up. I want to jump in the puddles and be soaked to the bone.

Go soak up God tonight. I don't care how you do it, but go soak up his neverending love for you. Listen to music, read your Bible, go jump in the snow and make a snow angel. But remember this, no matter what clouds you are facing in your life, God loves you more than anything, and he is going to get you through this time in your life.  

All the flowers will come to show, that all this rain is helping you to grow. 

Sometimes, Thinking About Christmas Makes Me Cry

Yesterday day my friend Emily and I stopped at Paul dorm to pick up a cookie sheet from our friend Ashley. (The RA of Paul is my RA from last year, and Ashley is my old SLR. I love them both to death.) Emily and I got to the door, and while we were waiting for Ashley she said "WOW! I wish I lived in this dorm! Look at all the pretty decorations they have put up!!" and suddenly, I burst into tears. You wouldn't think that something that simple would make someone cry, but it did. I told her about how I missed living in such a great dorm surrounded by people I love. I miss all the pretty decorations, and the excitement of celebrating baby Jesus birth. It made me miss living in Esther terribly. Christmas was beyond wonderful last year- the decorations made our dorm our home, not just a building we lived in. And my RA and SLR made Esther our home. Sometimes, I still really miss my "home" Sometimes, Christmas makes me cry. 

Christmas isn't going to be the same this year. Honestly, I would give anything to spend it with my family. I could care less about the presents, but I guess sometimes this is just how life is and it honestly infuriates me. I don't know what Christmas Eve will be like without my family around, and honestly it makes me cry. I have never spent a Christmas without my dad's family and I wish it didn't have to be this way. And yet there is nothing I can do about it. No matter how much I protest and cry, it isn't going to change anything, and that is hard for me to accept. 

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

This Christmas may not be going exactly how I want it to, but I know that I will find peace about it and it will still be great. Sometimes thinking about Christmas makes me cry. And I am okay with that. 

The Bible is Illegal in 52 Countries. Did you know that?

Tonight, God really laid something on my heart- It is a privilege to be able to have a relationship with him and be able to tell people about it. We had "class" devos tonight and only a few people showed up. Thats not why I am writing this post though. However it definitely made me think about this some more.

We have this amazing privilege to be able to worship God in so many different ways and settings here on Concordia's campus, and yet many people don't take advantage of them. How many times do you just think "I don't want to go, so I am not going to." I am guilty of this every day. I chose to eat lunch with my friend instead of going to chapel. I have this opportunity, but I don't take it. Why? I don't know.

 Why do we sit in our dorm rooms and watch tv instead of walking 10 feet out to devos? Why do people need to be begged to come to spiritual things, but yet they come running to other events when they hear "Free tshirt!"

I am tired of this ritual. I am tired of sitting here and being okay with the fact that I don't go to things simply because I don't want to. I am tired of seeing reading the Bible as just another thing we need.  Do you know how many people across the world would love to be able to go to church on Sunday without the threat of being killed? And yet I just don't go to church on Sunday's because I haven't found one that "fits" me yet.

What is it going to take to make Jesus our top priority again? I know life and hwk happens, but our Jesus time needs to be 100% our top priority. What is it going to take to get your attention?!

24/7 Worship

This was one of our songs from Tool Time this past weekend, probably one of my favorites. As I was "recovering" from the weekend last night I started thinking about everything that happened in the almost 72 hours the kids were on our campus. 

I was going to grab some dinner when I thought "Wow. It is really weird not going to the black box every couple hours to do a session and praise and worship. I really miss it."And then a thought hit me- we need to be worshipping God 24/7. Not just when we have worship sessions on campus. 

Now, am I saying that it is realistic to spend every moment of free time that we have in the chapel or in the black box or somewhere else singing praises to God? No. I am not saying that. But what I am saying is that we need to be praising God in every moment of our lives. In our words, actions, thoughts, prayers, classes, homework, everything. Can I honestly say that I do that? No. I wish I could say yes, but it is something that I am going to work on. 

There are many different forms of worship and bringing glory to God. For a little while, I felt that the small group leaders were doing more for God than me this weekend because I was making a video while they were sharing Christ's love with students. But what did I realize? My video making is a form of worship. My video showed God's love to people. It is a form of worship to the Lord. It may not be in a traditional form, but it is still pleasing to God. 

Tool Time knocked me off my feet, just like it has the two times it has done before this. It still blows me away how much of an impact this weekend is on everyone who is apart of it, Concordia students included. I laughed and cried hysterically and got on a deeper level with God than I ever have before. I am excited to again make some changes in my life. 

There are two things I want you to take away from my random thoughts. First, be worshipping God 24/7 in everything you do. Do it all for the glory of God. Concordia's motto is "Christ First in Everything" but do we really live that way? That is my challenge to you. Live your life as Christ First in Everything. Second, I want you to take away how unbelievably amazing and God oriented Tool Time is. I want your church to be at our Middle School Tool Time in March. Talk to me, and we will get the kids there. Pray about it, and know that I am praying about it too. 

God bless all of you, and I pray that you have a God filled, and God oriented Monday. 

Taking that Step

Yesterday God revealed some things to me. I actually had some free time and decided to read a book. I have a few that I have been trying to finish, and last night I decided to finish "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge. It blew me away. The part of the book I was on related exactly to some things I have been facing the past few days. There is one part that really stuck out to me, it was on living in the present instead of the past. Here is the clip:

"To live as an authentic, ransomed and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment. If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. We cannot play the ezer (equivalent of helper) role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only to the world the face we have learned is safe. You only have one life to live- It would be best to live your own."

I am made for more than the life I am living right now. I am more than the fears holding me back, I am more than my past regrets. I have been trying for so long to please each person in my life and to act in the ways that they want me too. But in reality by doing this I am not being real, I am not being me. I can't be all of who God wants me to be if I keep presenting only what I know is safe and secure. The most important thing in life is living how God wants me too- Not how people want me too.

What does this mean for me right now? I am not exactly sure. But I do know this- it is time to step out onto the water and trust Jesus is going to help me walk. I have nothing to wait for and nothing to lose. It is time to be real and stop hiding behind my fears. I want to do everything I can to strengthen my relationship with Christ- even if that means stepping out onto the water.

Broken

 "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will  not despise." Psalm 51:17

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I realized something last night. I am broken. As I realized this fact, I was talking to my friend Ashley and she said something to me similar to this "Riss, everyone is broken. You just have to decide how you are going to react to it. Being broken by God is wonderful, because it means he is working in your life to make you reflect his image even more than you do right now." 

What does being broken mean exactly? Well to me it means a few things. When I think of a broken heart, I think of the image I posted above. Completely crushed and shattered with what seems to be no hope of being repaired. I think of literal pain, and everything about our lives being shaken up or taken away or changed in one form or another. It seems like such a negative thing, and yet it isn't.

What is the medicine for a broken heart? Here is the answer: God is our superglue. He picks up each piece of our broken heart and puts it back together. He takes the things away that cause us pain and chisel away at our heart and tries to show us how to make different decisions for the next time. 

But here is what I realized last night- You might be broken for a long time. Immediate 100% relief probably won't come. One part of your broken heart may be fixed, while another is still shattered. It is a constant process. But God can give you happiness in pain- I am the happiest right now that I have ever been in my entire life, but that doesn't mean I don't have hard nights. It doesn't mean that the broken relationships in my life and other hurts don't bother me. They do- and the pain is real. But God is mending my heart each and every day and it is really cool to see. 

I found a song by Addison Road called Change In the Making. It talks about how we are completely incomplete and how God is working in our lives to make us more like him. It is a beautiful song, and kind of sums up how I feel right now. I am "under construction" as the song puts it. And for the first time in my life, I think I am okay with that. 

‎"Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked about it?"

So, it has been awhile. I have been really, really busy to say the least. I have had a lot going on, and a lot of things different things taking up my time and emotions. But this quote came into my mind today, and I decided to share something with you all.

As a lot of people know, I have been struggling with something for the past few weeks here at Concordia. It has been draining for me emotionally and physically and frankly I am just tired of dealing with it. But I realized this afternoon, that I am not handling this situation in all of the ways that I should be. And the main ones have to do with this quote above.

I am talking about this a whole heck of a lot more than I have prayed about it.

Not only that, but I realized today that I am talking about it too much. Yes, it is bothering me and it is good to vent to friends every once in a while. But it became the center of almost every conversation that I had today, and that is not how things are supposed to be. My policy on gossiping is that I will only say things to other people that I would be comfortable saying to the person I am talking about. If I wouldn't say it to their face, it doesn't need to be said. And while I have still stuck to that policy throughout this situation, I have found that spreading my anger and frustration and hurt to others isn't being helpful either. It may make me feel better for a little bit, but what good does it have in the long run?

A wise friend once told me " You can talk about this with 5 people. After that, it becomes gossip."Somehow, I just threw that out the window. So, this is my attempt to start over fresh with this situation. There will be no more discussion of this topic unless it is 100% useful and necessary. I may fail, I am human, but I am certainly going to try.

So here is my thought of the day for you; Pray more than talking. In reality, praying is talking to God and he is going to help you a lot more than the people here. And that is my goal- situations are so much easier if you turn to God for help. Turn to him today, and he will help you.