Taking that Step

Yesterday God revealed some things to me. I actually had some free time and decided to read a book. I have a few that I have been trying to finish, and last night I decided to finish "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge. It blew me away. The part of the book I was on related exactly to some things I have been facing the past few days. There is one part that really stuck out to me, it was on living in the present instead of the past. Here is the clip:

"To live as an authentic, ransomed and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment. If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. We cannot play the ezer (equivalent of helper) role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only to the world the face we have learned is safe. You only have one life to live- It would be best to live your own."

I am made for more than the life I am living right now. I am more than the fears holding me back, I am more than my past regrets. I have been trying for so long to please each person in my life and to act in the ways that they want me too. But in reality by doing this I am not being real, I am not being me. I can't be all of who God wants me to be if I keep presenting only what I know is safe and secure. The most important thing in life is living how God wants me too- Not how people want me too.

What does this mean for me right now? I am not exactly sure. But I do know this- it is time to step out onto the water and trust Jesus is going to help me walk. I have nothing to wait for and nothing to lose. It is time to be real and stop hiding behind my fears. I want to do everything I can to strengthen my relationship with Christ- even if that means stepping out onto the water.