Letters

"Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them." 

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. "

 ~Phyllis Theroux

On Monday someone very special to me passed away; my great Aunt Ellen, at the age of 91. These two quotes summarize my memories of her perfectly. I didn't get to see her very often at all, but she wrote me letters and sent me cards that I have saved for years. Her letters to me are one of my most treasured keepsakes. 

As soon as I had been told that she had passed away, I wanted my letters from home. I wanted to read the words she wrote to me and feel like I still had a piece of her memory with me. Tonight, my parents brought me my letters and I poured over them for about an hour. I couldn't get over how beautiful the letters were. I hadn't read a lot of these in a while, some of them dating back to 2004, but I honestly think they mean more to me now than they did then and they meant a lot to me then. 

As I sat there reading her words of wisdom and encouragement to me, I couldn't help but wish I could have one more letter from her, or at least that I would have written her at least one more time. But I have hope, because I know that she is in heaven with her king, and one day we will be reunited. 

You never know what a simple letter could do for someone, even years later. As a 14 year old saving these letters, I never thought they would help me once I was in college. But I am so glad that I saved them. Take time and write someone you love a letter. It might mean the world to them. 

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Everyone has had a splinter at least once in their life. Usually they hurt- a lot. I remember one time in particular when I got a splinter in my foot and it was really deep. I wouldn't let anyone take it out, so it stayed in my foot for a good week at least. The pain became unbelievable, I was hobbling around and still wouldn't let anyone touch my foot. Until one day, I went swimming. And the splinter came out. I couldn't believe that the pain was just magically gone just because that little piece of wood came out. Tonight, God gave me an analogy to part of my life. And that analogy is a splinter. 

I was praying at Offerings this evening, and came to this simple realization. There are some things that I have needed to deal with for a long time, and I just haven't. I have thought about, tried a bit to deal with parts of it, tried covering it up, tried forgetting. But it is still there. It is like there is a splinter in my foot. God keeps telling me that he will take it out, and there will be pain involved to get it out and afterwards to help the spot heal, but he can make it better. Instead, I not only will not let him take out the splinter, I keep beating around the bush and making it worse. Imagine playing with the hunk of wood stuck in your foot, not taking it out, just moving it around. IT HURTS. a lot. In reality, why would we sit here and mess with it and make it worse instead of taking it out and let the healing begin?! 

I have prayed numerous times "God, bring healing to this area of my life. Take it away, I don't want to deal with it anymore." But it was like God answered me tonight and said "Marissa, I keep trying to make it better, but I can't heal the wound and infection if you won't let me first take the splinter out of your foot. Putting a band aide on top is only going to make it worse in the long run. Are you going to let me do this? Or are you going to keep suffering?"

You see, pain is truly inevitable. We can't avoid it. It will hurt to take out the splinter, and the infected wound will hurt for at least a while as it begins to heal. But suffering? Suffering is optional. If we don't let the wound get to the point where it is infected, blistered and gross, we wouldn't suffer nearly as much. If we let God handle the injury right when it takes place, we don't have to suffer. 

So what is my point with all of this? My point is to choose to stop suffering. I made that choice tonight. God has started wiggling the splinter out of my foot. And yes, it is painful and will be for probably quite a while as I work through some things. But when it finally comes out the relief is going to outweigh the pain and I don't want this to cause pain in my life anymore. I'm done hobbling around with a splinter in my foot. 

Our God is Greater!

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

Tonight was the first Offerings of my Sophomore year. We sang a few songs, and then we came to this one and I about fell to my knees. For the past week or so, God has really laid something on my heart that I need to change. He has made it so clear to me, yet I kept trying to find any other way around it. But yesterday, God put this verse, and this song on my mind the entire day. If you look, it was even my Facebook status yesterday. And it was like he was telling me- "Marissa, I am on your side. Nothing can stand against me. If I want you to do this, you have no reason to be afraid. You have no reason to panic. I am going to guide you through this." 

And yet, being as stubborn as I am, I semi-ignored him again. And then I had a horrible day and got to Offerings, and this song played. And it was like God was saying to me "Okay Marissa, do you get it yet?! Am I going to have to give you any more signs, or are you actually going to listen this time?!" And I just sat and thought for a minute and spent some time in prayer. 

I know what God wants me to do. It is about as clear as it is going to get. But the waters navigating how to get that done are rough and scary. It won't be smooth sailing- I already am well aware of that. And now I am faced with a decision- Do I choose to do what God wants and jump off into the unknown? Or do I follow the path that is straight, narrow, and well lit? 

It's going to be rough- but I think I am going to choose the unknown. I heard a quote once along the lines of "I would rather have God hold my hand and take the dark scary path, instead of being completely alone on the well lit path." Here we go. God, let your will be done and not my own. 

It's Not the End of the World

Part of this song really caught my attention today: 

...To break me of impatience,

Conquer my frustrations,

I've got a new appreciation,

It's not the end of the world...

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday... a very honest conversation that at first I wasn't too thrilled that we were having. We were talking about some stuff when she said something to me. It was somewhere along the lines of this: "Marissa, you really have got to start looking at bad things that happen from a new perspective. A lot of the time you act as if it is the end of the world whenever something that you don't like happens. But it's not! You really gotta start seeing that." 

It took me a while to process everything we talked about last night. But I am beginning to realize that just because there are a LOT of things going on right now that I am not thrilled about, it's not the end of the world. God will bring me through it and over it even if it doesn't seem like it right now. He has got such a great, great plan. And I am so excited to see what it is. 

Don't let small things, or even big changes let you get to a point where you feel like it is the end of the world. I promise that it isn't, and God is going to guide you through the dark, and show you what lesson you need to learn from it even if it is very, very painful at the time. 

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone. Everyone has one, and it is something we don't like to leave. This past week, I have been wayyyy outside of my comfort zone at least once every day. Sounds horrible right? Wrong. 

This week was Leadership Training at Concordia University. I went through a lot of mixed emotions- fear of failure, frustration, anger, sadness, happiness, excitement... you name it, I probably felt it. All because I was put in a situation where I wasn't in my comfort zone. 

At first, I hated being outside my "zone". I hated feeling vulnerable and open. I was scared to rely on my team members and to do things I had never done before. At first, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to keep going forward.

But then God got a hold of me (It's so cool when he does that!) And I began to realize just how great this training week was because it was taking me places where I had never been before, and had too scared to go to before. But I went there. And I did it. And I have never felt so free and alive. This week helped me to jump off and take a leap of faith. And I will never be thankful enough that I did. 

I won't hesitate to say that for a long time I wasn't happy at Concordia. I actually was planning on transferring early into last year. But for the first time today, I had a moment where I thought "I belong here, and I have a purpose. This is where I am supposed to be." And it was one of the greatest feelings in the world. None of this would have happened if I wouldn't have stepped outside my comfort zone. I wouldn't be where I am right now if I hadn't taken that step, and continuing to take that step. I know it is scary to do something that is outside of your comfort zone, but do it. Please. Your life will never, ever be the same, and God will take you to places you never thought were even possible for you. It is an amazing journey. 

Goodbye Summer, Hello Concordia!

Tomorrow starts my Sophomore year of college. I will be moving into my dorm, and starting a week of Spiritual Life training. I am excited for this next phase of my life, I have a feeling God is going to do great things throughout this next year.

Sometimes I still cannot believe that I am almost half way done with college. Wasn't I just a Freshman?! Why is college going so much faster than high school?! It is going fast, but I am learning so much and God is showing me so much.

I cannot believe how far I have come in one short year. Looking back at where I was last year, I am no where near the same person that I used to be. A lot of things have changed, for the good and for the bad, but God has used each and every circumstance to mold me into the person he wants me to be.

Part of me is kind of sad to leave my life at home (Yes, even though I am still in Ann Arbor!) When I am at Concordia I often forget that I am still at "home". I thought it was going to be easier this time around to leave my house, friends and routine, but it is still a transition that I am going to have get used to again. But, I at least have an idea of what is to come this time around and I am super excited :)

So, this is it. The next time I post I will be somewhere on Concordia's campus. Goodbye Summer, Hello Concordia. Here we go!

Tomorrow

"Never put off till tomorrow what you could do today." - Thomas Jefferson

I feel like this has been a theme of my summer- Why should I do it today when I can do it tomorrow? Well, I am realizing now that I don't have that many "tomorrows" of summer left, so is it really worth it to keep putting things off?

I have been thinking- why am I putting these things off? Why won't I just do it now? What is stopping me from making the changes in my life that I know that I need to? Why am I waiting and promising myself that I will do it tomorrow?

My favorite part of the song was this: 
I can't live my whole life wasting
all the grace that I know you've given.
'Cause you made me for so much more than
sitting on the sidelines.
I don't want to look back and wonder
if good enough could have been better.
Every days a day that's borrowed
so why am I waiting for tomorrow?


I thought about sitting on the sidelines during one of my soccer games. It is frustrating and hard to sit there and watch when all you want to do is play. God is like our coach- But he isn't making us sit on the bench. He is begging us to get out there and play and use our skills and yet we hug the bench and refuse to get up and run because we are scared of messing up and getting hurt. I can't imagine sitting on the bench for every one of my games and just watch from the sidelines as everyone else has the time of their life, so why am I choosing to spend my life that way? 


I am tired of sitting on the sidelines of the game of life. I am tired of putting off everything I want to do until "tomorrow". I don't want to look back at my life in years to come and realize that the "tomorrow" I was looking for never came, and be disappointed in myself for not taking a chance. It's time to stop waiting for tomorrow. 


Stop putting off the changes in your life God is calling you to make. It's time to stop watching from the sidelines and start playing. Tomorrow isn't promised, but today is. What are you going to today to start over?