Letters

"Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them." 

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. "

 ~Phyllis Theroux

On Monday someone very special to me passed away; my great Aunt Ellen, at the age of 91. These two quotes summarize my memories of her perfectly. I didn't get to see her very often at all, but she wrote me letters and sent me cards that I have saved for years. Her letters to me are one of my most treasured keepsakes. 

As soon as I had been told that she had passed away, I wanted my letters from home. I wanted to read the words she wrote to me and feel like I still had a piece of her memory with me. Tonight, my parents brought me my letters and I poured over them for about an hour. I couldn't get over how beautiful the letters were. I hadn't read a lot of these in a while, some of them dating back to 2004, but I honestly think they mean more to me now than they did then and they meant a lot to me then. 

As I sat there reading her words of wisdom and encouragement to me, I couldn't help but wish I could have one more letter from her, or at least that I would have written her at least one more time. But I have hope, because I know that she is in heaven with her king, and one day we will be reunited. 

You never know what a simple letter could do for someone, even years later. As a 14 year old saving these letters, I never thought they would help me once I was in college. But I am so glad that I saved them. Take time and write someone you love a letter. It might mean the world to them. 

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Everyone has had a splinter at least once in their life. Usually they hurt- a lot. I remember one time in particular when I got a splinter in my foot and it was really deep. I wouldn't let anyone take it out, so it stayed in my foot for a good week at least. The pain became unbelievable, I was hobbling around and still wouldn't let anyone touch my foot. Until one day, I went swimming. And the splinter came out. I couldn't believe that the pain was just magically gone just because that little piece of wood came out. Tonight, God gave me an analogy to part of my life. And that analogy is a splinter. 

I was praying at Offerings this evening, and came to this simple realization. There are some things that I have needed to deal with for a long time, and I just haven't. I have thought about, tried a bit to deal with parts of it, tried covering it up, tried forgetting. But it is still there. It is like there is a splinter in my foot. God keeps telling me that he will take it out, and there will be pain involved to get it out and afterwards to help the spot heal, but he can make it better. Instead, I not only will not let him take out the splinter, I keep beating around the bush and making it worse. Imagine playing with the hunk of wood stuck in your foot, not taking it out, just moving it around. IT HURTS. a lot. In reality, why would we sit here and mess with it and make it worse instead of taking it out and let the healing begin?! 

I have prayed numerous times "God, bring healing to this area of my life. Take it away, I don't want to deal with it anymore." But it was like God answered me tonight and said "Marissa, I keep trying to make it better, but I can't heal the wound and infection if you won't let me first take the splinter out of your foot. Putting a band aide on top is only going to make it worse in the long run. Are you going to let me do this? Or are you going to keep suffering?"

You see, pain is truly inevitable. We can't avoid it. It will hurt to take out the splinter, and the infected wound will hurt for at least a while as it begins to heal. But suffering? Suffering is optional. If we don't let the wound get to the point where it is infected, blistered and gross, we wouldn't suffer nearly as much. If we let God handle the injury right when it takes place, we don't have to suffer. 

So what is my point with all of this? My point is to choose to stop suffering. I made that choice tonight. God has started wiggling the splinter out of my foot. And yes, it is painful and will be for probably quite a while as I work through some things. But when it finally comes out the relief is going to outweigh the pain and I don't want this to cause pain in my life anymore. I'm done hobbling around with a splinter in my foot.