I move back to Concordia in around 17 days. I received my "Welcome to life at Concordia" packet in the mail today and my anxiety for the fall went from about 30% to 200% in about 2 minutes. I found out my dorm got switched and I still have no idea if I have a roommate. One of my close friends got switched to a dorm on the other side of campus, and my RA got changed to a different one. Added to this, one best friend is leaving for Mexico in less than a month and will be gone for a year, and the other best friend is leaving for Guatemala for the semester. Yikes.
Needless to say, I had a mini panic attack this afternoon. I was freaking out. (In case you don't know, I HATE change. I am a control freak in every way imaginable) I don't want a different dorm, or to have my friends not be near me, or to just have so much uncertainty placed before me. I want to know exactly what is going to happen, where it is happening, why it is happening, how it is happening, and who is going to be there. But life isn't like that. Unfortunately. Welcome to one of my biggest struggles in life- I can't control everything around me.
I was heading to bed tonight pouting, really not wanting my friend Ashley to be leaving for Mexico soon, and scared to death about what the fall is going to be like now that my plans appear to have changed a lot. But then, it was like God said to me"Child, BE STILL. I am here. I love you, and I have a plan. Be still."
So here is my random thought of the night for you- Change happens. Things are going to come that you aren't happy about. But God will never change. Be still. Let him have control over the entire universe and show you the way you need to go. Let your anxious heart be calm and still and sleep in peace tonight. I'm still not happy about everything that changed today, but I am choosing to be still and let God hold my anxious heart and guide my steps.
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