"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Confucious

I did something today. It may seem minor to some, but to me it signified the end of a very long season.... I updated the look of my blog. You may be thinking "Honestly Marissa? That is not that big of a deal.... really." But in reality? People tell me that my food touching isn't a big deal either. Well guess what? To me its a big deal!

I have had the same "theme" on my blog since my Junior year of high school when I started this blog. I loved the pastel colors, and the dandelions floating through the wind representing my random thoughts that I often write about. At that point, I didn't take my blog seriously at all. I didn't think anyone read it outside of my few friends who also had blogs. But when I started college, I started writing more seriously, wondering if people would actually get something out of my weird thoughts and connections in life and faith. And they did. I actually had a few people tell me I should consider creating a book/devotional out of some of my posts. I was shocked... I was like "What?! People are actually interested in what I have to say?!" And so I started writing more and more. And now, I view my blog as a more in depth look at my life for the people who care to read it, other than the stuff I post on Facebook.

And so, I was starting to write a post today and I looked at my blog and thought "It's time for something new. I'm not the same girl who started this blog years ago, and I want to reflect that." And so I did. It took time and effort, but I am really happy with the way it looks now. It reflects more of me as a person than it did before, and I am really proud of that.

As I started to write this post, I have had the changes in my life on my mind a LOT today. It's my last full week of nannying, and it is a little bit bitter sweet. I am terrified to begin this new season in so many ways, and yet it has been so so so clear to me that it is time to move forward. I first saw the quote I posted above when I came home from Shelterwood. And as much pain as I was in last October, I knew in my heart it would have been more painful to try and stay when I knew I no longer belonged there.

The same is true now. I go to church on Sunday, I sit at home, and these places are familiar, they are home and where I belong. But at the same time there is a part of my soul that is pushing me more and more everyday saying "You don't belong here for the next season. It will always be here to come back to, but for now it's time to go. Yes, it will hurt to leave, but it would be more painful to stay when you're supposed to go."

I think of Jonah when God told him to go to Ninevah, and he went to Tarsus instead and got thrown out of the boat. It would have been very hard for Jonah to go to Ninevah in the first place. But didn't it end up being harder for him when he tried to stay where he was at? He ended up having to deal with another very painful situation, and then the initial situation on top of that simply because he was too afraid to face the pain in the first place.

I've spent a LOT of my life being Jonah, being too afraid to do anything simply because I can't predict the outcome, or I know it may not go how I want it to so I'd rather just not go at all. It's not a fun way to live life honestly. I started to conquer that mindset when I went to Shelterwood over a year ago. But now that I have been home, that mindset of fear and dreading what is to come is threatening to take over my mind once again. But I have a choice.... I can either just accept this life of fear and let that control me, and stay where I am at, and never become who God has called me to be.

Or, I can take the higher road. I can call out the fear for what it is- lies from the devil. I can ask people to pray with me. I can find exciting things to look forward to about this new season. I can spend time daily with Jesus asking him to calm my anxiety. I can look at these changes and know that God is going to use them for incredible things.

So here is my random thought of the day for you- What changes is God asking you to make in your life? They may be minor- like changing the theme of your blog. Or they may be major like moving across the country to start working with a ministry that God has consistently laid on your heart. But can I challenge you today to start accepting that change, and claiming it for God's good, instead of focusing on the fear that it may destroy you? I hope you discover one small step you can take today, even if it is just a baby step.