It's Not Over.

I am sitting in our kitchen sipping tea and chatting with my co-worker Rachel in British accents as I try to refill my tank after a week that I'd rather forget as it was draining physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

After an incredibly filling weekend, I came back to work and got SLAMMED. Literally and metaphorically. On Monday, I came back and discovered that my heat wasn't working properly in my apartment. Tuesday, I backed into a co-workers car and caused some damage to my vehicle and hers. After I got my insurance stuff figured out on Wednesday morning I sat down and through tears said "I am basically homeless since my apartment is too cold to stay there, and now I am stranded without a car! Are you kidding me?! I thought life was going to get easier when I accepted this job and moved! Not ridiculously harder!" I seriously began questioning all that God has been doing, and what he has called me to do. As I talked to my counselor in tears Tuesday and Wednesday, she gently reminded me that the world was not coming to an end. Yes, these things are hard. Very hard when it's the first time you are experiencing them as a young adult for the first time out on your own. But she reminded me that I would survive this, and that it was okay to cry and be stressed out and angry that all of this happened.

As many of you know, I also have been struggling hardcore with the fact that we haven't had girls in our house in a really long time. Patience is not exactly my strongest quality, actually it's probably the thing I struggle with the most. I finally got to a point a few nights ago where I just laid my heart out to God and said "My way isn't working. I know you've called me here for a purpose. Please reveal to my heart what that purpose is, please. Even if only a part of it." And I left it at that.

On Wednesday we got a bunch of referral calls, one after another and it looks like we will in fact have girls sometime in the near future. My heart finally feels like it can calm down for the first time since the end of September, and that my friends is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So now as I sit here under the lights of our Christmas tree, (Yes, I moved. This blog post took me a while to write lol) I am remembering this key phrase: It's not over until God says it's over. My co-worker Rachel and I talked for a while this morning and she introduced me to this song by Kirk Franklin:

And as I sat and listened to the words this morning, God refreshed my perspective and reminded me that no matter what kind of giant is before me, it's not over until He says it's over. I sit here and I think "Is my life easy right now?" No, it's not. My apartment may be having heating problems, but I have a nice warm house with lovely co-workers to stay at. My car may be in the shop, but I have family and friends who are willing to pick me up and drive me places. I may have to pay a car repair bill for the next few months, but at least I have a job to pay for it.

So here is my random thought of the day for you: What things have you decided are over and done with that God may be trying to tell you that He isn't finished with yet? Can I challenge you today? Take time and talk with Him about all of that. I guarantee you that there is a reason for the season you are in. It may not be a fun reason, but there is a reason. I sit here under the light of the tree and I am thankful for this season of no girls. It has made me learn how to set boundaries with people at this new job. It has given me a chance to get to know my co-workers. It has helped me learn some new things that trigger my anxiety, and given me a chance to get real with God. All of which are things that would have been very difficult to think through and handle on top of working with the girls.

So while this season has been really hard, I am thankful and I know that I have grown a whole heck of a lot because of it. And I hope that no matter what you are facing today, you remember this one thing- It's not over until He says it's over.