Sometimes I think I'm Missing It

Have you ever gotten to the end of the week and wondered where the week went? Sometimes we are on the go so much that we speed through our days without taking the time to cherish every second that we are alive. I have been contemplating this idea for a while now, and I have realized that I am almost incapable of living "in the moment"I get so wrapped up in my past and future that I honestly forget about the present.

You might have noticed people using the phrase "YOLO" a lot recently. It means "You Only Live Once". Some Christians disagree with this saying because through Jesus we get to live for all eternity, so in reality we live life after death. But in some regards, this phrase is something we really should pay attention to- We only get one shot of life on earth. After that depends on if we have chosen to let Jesus be our Savior. We have one shot to show Christ to people each moment of our day, one shot to cherish the time God has given us here to bring more people to him. And how many of us just fly through our days just wanting to make it to the weekend, or retirement, or vacation or whatever? What if we are so wrapped up in the past or present that we miss what God wants us to pay attention to today?

I have come to the conclusion that I don't just want to "get through" each day, but I want to cherish and appreciate each moment that God has given me and stop trying to speed on to the next one or look back at something I regret or miss. My goal for the summer is to blog once a day and capture a picture or post a song that goes with a blessing or simple "moment" from my day. I'm not going to race through my days anymore. God created me for something beautiful, and I am going to enjoy the ride.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep flying through your days just wishing you could skip to the next big thing? Or are you going to take some time and slow down and enjoy the life God has given you? This is your life- please don't miss it!

For I Know the Plans I Have For You....

This is me and one of my best friends Ashley Hart. For those of you who don't know, Ashley was my Spiritual Life Rep in my dorm my freshman year. We have gotten supe close over the past two years and she is like my older sister. 


Tonight, I experienced one of the most terrifying feelings I think one can experience. I got a FB note from Ashley telling me along with many others about an amazing thing she experienced today, almost dying in the process. I went through so many emotions when I realized my friend almost just died, but I simply got to the point where I just couldn't stop thanking God for how wonderful he truly is and how he really does have an amazing plan for every part of our life. Here is her story. 

I, Ashley Hart, am thankful, today, for my life and for the lives of those around me. 
Today..... I experienced a testimony beyond the stretch of my imagination. I sit on my sister's couch in Chicago half dampened by the drying water of Lake Michigan and half by the sweat from the end of the most productive run of my life. Crying is all I want to do because I am so in awe of the literal saving grace of our Creator and Savior but there is no time for that as I have to write this down. 

Friends, I sat at the end of this pier alone and confused, praying for wisdom, purity and clarity in my life. On a beach filled with what felt like half of Chicago at 5pm, I was blessed to have this pier to myself after having a tough few weeks I was hear to take a break from it all. I watched the perfect view in front of me. I held my knees and soaked in selfish thoughts. I have been asking God the past few weeks to reveal who he is to me more and to open my eyes to it, I was soon to learn just how selfless our God really is. 

I got up to walk back across the beach to run more when I saw seven black children walking, making their way up the pier with no parent in sight. I kept walking thinking, good thing I am leaving for it was no longer my own pier. They stopped midway on the pier and started looking over the side of the ledge. The no diving sign painted on the ground not daunting to any of us standing there. I kept walking and stopped, noticing that they were about to atempt to all jump in at the same time. Excited they were, yelling and encouraging each other to count down together. The oldest I found out later was a 15 year old girl and the youngest had to have been a 4 year old boy. I put my my hands on my hips as I waited from afar for one of the boys to count down from ten for them all to jump in. 

10-9-8-3-2-1.......the two oldest girls jump in. I turned and kept walking but then heard screaming. I looked back. Both girls were throwing there hands in the air and screaming as they went above and below the waves of Lake Michigan. Their siblings and cousins were yelling and screaming, all to young to know what to do. Are they messing around? Where is everyone, no one is around. I run over the railing, take of my shoes and phone and jump in after them. Motivated by one of the boys screaming, "jump, girl, jump." Thank God for him. 

One is under water, the other was struggling to stay above, both pulling each other under. I grab the one under water soon realizing I cannot stay above either. I cannot touch, I can barely carry one and the other girl is pulling me down. My panic mode is in gear. I swam to the wall but with nothing to grab on to and no one around to help except the absolutely scared out of there minds children above. I thought, Oh my goodness, I could die with these two beautiful girls right hear on a beach on Lake Michigan. I can't even help one let alone both. I even had to throw them off a second to let myself sink to touch the bottom and push off to get a better breath. I was drowning. Helpless. Hopeless. Scared. I cannot remember if I said this out loud or in my head but I screamed Jesus I need you, no one is here. I am going to die, and these two girls will die with me. I cannot do this alone. I am not strong enough. Jesus, I need you. Help me. I need you. 

The wave passed and I could touch. Between the waves I was able to hold us up from touching the ground. Me and Jesus, together, were able to grab the second girls hand and hold the first girl and walk us into shallow water. Telling them to look at me I said, girls, by the grace of God we are alive. 

A testimony of his literal saving grace. Jesus saved my life today. Jesus also saved these two girls lives, whom I wish I remembered there names. He died on the cross to save us and I don't think I would have been able to die for those two girls as I grasped for my own air. But he died saving the whole world, the generations of the past 2000 years and until he returns. My understanding of his sacrifice increased quite a bit today, I would say alot. 

He taught me something today amidst all of it. An testominy to me and you. The creator of the universe not only died to save the whole world when I could not even save these two girls but he also took the time to save us three as I called out for him in a prayer of absolute desparation. He is with us always. He saves. He loves. 

He loved those two girls so incredibly much. He was so aware that they had no idea how to swim that he ordained me to stop at that one pier, on this one day, at that one time, in this one city. He loves them and he loves me. He saved the three of us because I was surely not going to be the one to do it. 

We walked out of the water to a lifeguard.....with nothing but fright and a few cuts on my knee. We are saved and unscaved. Amazing. A miracle in my mind as I honestly have never been so sure I was not going to live another day. 

All I know is, God is in the business of answering prayers and he sent his son to save us from our sins every single day of our lives. Today, he answered my prayer and saved us from the mirky floor of Lake Michigan. Praise you Jesus. 

After taking these precious children of God to their older cousin I walked a little, cried a little, then ran as fast as I could with my shoes and no socks back here to write this to all of you. 

I hope you see the story in all of this. It is not that I, Ashley Hart, jumped into Lake Michigan and valiantly saved these girls. It is that I, Ashley Hart, was ordained to jump in that water and through Jesus Christ was able to save those girls. I was not strong enough. But Jesus is. He is most definitely strong enough. 

If you don't know Jesus today or if he has not been a part of your life for some time, just ask him into your heart. He loves you so much. Ask him to come into your heart and tell him that you accept him as your Lord and Savior, forgiving you of all of your sins. That you want his saving grace and you want him to change your life. I can promise you he will answer your prayer. Write me back and I would love to tell you more about the Savior that saved me and those two girls lives and that changed my life three years ago. 

If you do know Jesus, then let this extend your faith. The literalness of this experience today in how it exemplifies th message of the Gospel leaves me in awe. I hope it touches your heart as much as it does mine.

He desires for to this for each and everyone of you every single day of your life. He desires you. He loves you. 

I am grateful to be alive today and even more grateful I get to share this all with you. Pass this on, tell others about the amazing love of our God. I sent this to you all but I know there are tons more people that would benefit from this testominy within my own life and within yours. 

Thank you Jesus for our lives today and every day. I pray, Lord, that this touches more lives than I know, that this testimony is one that changes the lives of people that know you and people that are yet to know you. I also pray Lord that the people that read this would find someone to help them them know you better, whether it be through me or through someone else in their life. We love you, Lord. Thank you.

If you take nothing out of this post today- know this; God loves you more than anything and he wants to be your savior. He wants to save you just like he saved Ashley and those two girls today. It doesn't matter what you have done or even what you might do in the future- He wants to save you! To love you, to hold you when you are hurting, to cry with you to laugh with you. He wants to be your Savior. So I ask you, if you haven't already, will you let him save you today? 

Life Is Crazy!

I heard this song for one of the first times today and I feel that it completely summarizes my life currently. My life is crazy, and strange and yet I know that I can face anything because I have Jesus.

I haven't exactly found my "summer groove" yet. I haven't re-adjusted to living at home again or anything that comes with that. Im not used to seeing my home friends more than once a week, and I am not used to having nothing to do other than clean or organize my stuff. My life is simply crazy- changing from one day to the next and I never know what each day is going to bring which is kind of unsettling and nerve wracking.

I feel like I should have more to write, but I honestly just wanted to share this song with you and let you know that you are not the only one if your life also seems to be totally crazy right now. God's got you in his hands no matter how crazy your life is. And he is using this to build you into a stronger, better, person who reflects his image. I am willing to go through a little craziness to become more like God- aren't you?

Life is Like a Pack of Sour Patch Kids

It has almost been three weeks since I moved out of Concordia for the second time and finished my Sophomore year of college. I cannot even believe how fast time has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from high school and yet in some ways that feels like it was an eternity ago. The end of this year was definitely bittersweet- more so than last year. I was very, very ready to get this year done and behind me, but at the same time there were some reasons I didn't want it to end. It wasn't a bad year- I made some solid new friendships, got involved in a lot, and had a ton of fun. One of my best friends and mentors also graduated this year- a major reason I didn't want this year to come to an end. But there was also a lot of drama, changes, and other things that I simply am ready to put behind me and move forward.

So often in life we look at things as black and white- It was either good, or it was bad. It cannot be both. But I disagree with that statement. If we go through life with a black and white perspective, life is going to be dull and boring. You will never experience true love or true pain. You will simply stay on one side that is always good or one side that is always bad. I think that is the main lesson I learned this year. Life isn't black or white- it is shades of gray. And until you understand that you are never going to live a fulfilling life. If things could only be one flavor- we wouldn't have amazing candy like Sour Patch kids. They would either have to be sour or sweet- and what fun would that be?!

I will admit that I am nervous about what the fall is going to bring. I don't know who my roommate is going to be, one of my best friends will be in Mexico, and I am starting a bunch of new things to dive into preparation for my career. Thats the part that is kind of sour- and if I only focus on that, I am going to be miserable. But I also get to look forward to living in a dorm filled with amazing people, a new spiritual life position to figure out, and simply the start of an exciting new year. The best part? I have Jesus on my side. That means I may be fearful of what is going to come next- but I don't have to live in fear because I know that he has already taken care of it and it is going to be exactly what I need at that time. 

Life is like eating a pack of Sour Patch Kids. We need sour and sweet things in our life. Without one or the other life would be boring and meaningless. 

Eye of the Hurricane

The last three weeks of the semester. I think it is safe to compare these last few weeks to a hurricane. It is simply madness- students are overstressed, cranky, and on edge almost every day all day. I unfortunately have not escaped from this stereotypical time.

I have been unbelievably stressed and busy for the last month. I have learned to cherish if I even have an hour where I can sit and simply do nothing. These moments are few and rare and I appreciate them.

I was walking outside earlier today and I realized that my stress level is slowly coming down as I start to get all my assignments and projects organized and I start to accept the idea that my good friend really is graduating. The storm is starting to calm and yet I know the intensity is going to pick up again next week. It's like I am currently in the eye of the hurricane- there is some rest from the storm but I know that there is still more to come. It is kind of an uncomfortable feeling.

I am simply happy to not be extremely stressed but at the same time I am not looking forward to what is to come in the next few days, weeks, and months. I liked the part of the song above where it talks about God holding us safe during the eye of hurricane. God has worked in my life a lot in the past two weeks and I had litterally gotten to a point where I was so stressed I was physically sick and didn't feel like I could keep going. And then- God gives me the eye of the storm. A time to recoup and to rebuild my strength. A time to pray and be at peace and to know that when the storm starts up again it will be okay.

I may not like the storms of life I am facing right now- and I probably never will. But here is the thing- in every storm you face God is going to give you an "eye of the storm" he will never give you a storm that you can't handle without his help and protection. It may be rough, and you may get hurt in the process. But you will come through it and be a stronger person because of it.

So here is my random thought of the day for you- instead of focusing on the storm you are facing- the stress, anger, frustation, pain, sadness, whatever it is, try focusing in the eye of the storm instead. Focus on God's healing presence and peace and I guarantee you it will make your storm seem less intense and terrifying.

No Whining Allowed!

If you know me at all I tend to whine and complain an awful lot. As I have gotten older I have gotten better about it, but I still can be extremely negative and complain about everything. It's not something that I am particularly happy about, but it is something that I try to work on every day. Today has been an extremely whinny day today. I have complained from the moment I hit my snooze button this morning to right now while I am sitting at work. Every little thing has been making me whine today and I finally had some time to sit down and just think and this is what hit me- the whining and complaining has got to stop and it needs to stop now.

As I was realizing this, I was thinking about how Facebook connects to my constant complaining. I tell people all the time that I use my Facebook as a form of witnessing by sharing Bible verses, song lyrics, blog posts etc. And it is true that I do do this. But what I realized this afternoon was I also use Facebook as my personal whine center to share with the world whatever I need to complain about for the moment. All day I have wanted to put something up as my status along the lines of "I am grumpy. I have a migrane. And we had a pop quiz in Anatomy that I bombed. Cool." But I didn't want to because I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. I never would have thought about this before I gave up Facebook for Lent this year. I would have just thrown up the status and let the Marissa Pity Party begin. But not anymore.

I am not saying that it is wrong for me to have bad days and I have to be captain perky pants all the time. But at the same time- I don't need to complain about it to all my friends and family 24/7. When someone asks how I am my response does not always have to start with "This is why my day has been crappy so far.... But I am great other than that."Do I need to be real with people? Yes. Can I tell people when I am having a bad day? Yes. But does it need to be the center of my world anymore? No. And I am choosing for it not to be.

So here is my resolution- My Facebook will no longer be a place of complaining or whining. There will be no more dumb status updates about how sick I feel or how much I hate Anatomy. I want my life to be a reflection of the hope and joy that Jesus has given me. Not the struggles that I face everyday. 

If you take nothing else from this post, think about this: What kind of reflection is your life to others? Are you shining the hope of Jesus? Or spreading the dispare and unhappiness of the world? What simple things can you do to try and stop complaining and start living in hope? 

My Mid-College Crisis

A few weeks ago these little slips of paper showed up on a lot of the doors on campus. They had things that said "Take what you need: Hope, courage, motivation, love"...etc. As soon as I saw motivation I quickly tore it off and put it in my pocket. Later in the week, I was checking my mail and it fell out of my pocket. I didn't find it again until I walked by that part of campus later in the day. I made a joke saying "Motivation! You can't run away from me! The semester isn't over yet! I need you!" And then here comes the best part- I accidentally threw away the slip of paper about 10 minutes later. I threw my motivation in the trash. Awesome. 

I have had ZERO motivation to do absolutely anything over the past few weeks. My second year at Concordia is almost finished, and I have begun to reflect on my time here so far. In short- I can see the end. I can see the finish line and in a lot of ways that is terrifying to me. I feel like I am in a mid college crisis instead of a midlife crisis. One of my best friends is graduating in a few weeks and it is becoming more of a reality each and every day. Nothing is working out so far for the start of my Junior year. It is possible that I am just being pessimistic, but I just want some assurance it is going to be a good year and so far I haven't had any. 

Part of me has felt like maybe if I stop doing things maybe time will slow down and I will have more control. So far? Not happening. I don't know what is going to happen, and I honestly don't know where my motivation is going to come from to get me through these next few weeks physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I know that I will, and I know that Jesus is in control. So here is my random thought of the day for you: You may not have the motivation that you need to get through today. But God can get you through even if you don't want to. He is going to get me through my mid-college crisis and I can't wait to look back on this and thank God for being all the motivation I need.