I cannot wait for my next semester of college to begin. After spending some time with God over break, I have realized that I have some major life changes that need to take place. I have realized that each day, I am simply trying to survive. I go around just trying to get by, never really doing my best. I never give it my all relationship/people wise or schoolwork wise. A teacher of mine once said to me, "Marissa, if you would actually try, you could so easily be a 4.0 student, but for some reason you keep choosing not to try!I always blame it on my seemingly inability to focus, but I feel like there is more reasoning behind not trying. Why don't I try? I really don't know.
What would happen if I tried to thrive instead of just survive? What if I tried to work harder academically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally? What would happen? Would I be happier? Would people notice a change? I really don't know. But the real question is, is it worth the hard work to get there? I think it is.
When people meet me and get to know me, I want them to know that I am different. I am tired of talking the talk, and only half walking the walk. I don't care anymore if people think I am weird or sheltered because I don't find their sexual innuendoes funny. I don't want to be someone who goes and talks about people behind their back. I want to stop doing what is wrong, and go towards what is right.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." 1 Timothy 4:7-8
My friends mom passed away a few months ago. I always think of her when I see this verse. Her life has challenged me to strive each and every day to become a better person, and truly get to know the Lord. I want to not only know Him, but I want others to know Him like I do. To want to do nothing more than read your Bible and devotionals all day. Or sit in your room and listen to praise music. I want to run the race, and I want to Finish Well.
1 comment:
It is hard to race against the world whenever it is so filled in darkness and all you want to do is beam light.
It's okay to finish last, as long as your finishing the race in God's eyes doing what is right, following the law, and what not.
This blog made me think of the song, "Finish Last" by Stellar Kart. Listen to it if you're not familiar with it. It's wonderful. Really inspirational.
Anyways, I think that people will notice a change if you really wanted them to. Any change a person would make about themselves whether it'd be emotional, physical, etc...will be noticed in some shape or form at some point..never right away, but soon enough to be all "hey what is it about her that is different?" you know what I mean?
It won't be easy to change your ways just like that about the gossip factor, nor will it be about getting angry if someone talks about you. It's all about forgiveness as well. Remember, to get that forgiveness from God, you must forgive your neighbor and yourself, and not be filled with a grudge, nor anger before your God to receive that forgiveness. It's in the book of Matthew that I'm thinking of that it talks about forgiveness..I'm sure you'd be familiar with it.
Just don't hold grudges, all it does is build up in sin and Satan will feed off of it. You must be strong to stand against him and the temptation of sin.
I will be praying for you in this subject and journey that you endure.
Good luck in the spring semester! :) I hope all goes well.
I'm actually anticipating the Spring, but I am nervous. I haven't seen my grades yet for this fall semester because it won't let me. I'm on a "stop list" sadly. >< It sucks.
Oh well.
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