The Life of a Big: The Responsibility of a Lifetime

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Matthew 18:1-6

I read this verse a few days ago during my Jesus time, and read my study notes along with it. It talked about how parents, teachers, and others who work with kids have a huge responsibility- we are to lead kids to Jesus, not push them away from him. I've thought about this concept more and more as I get to know my girls and I am realizing what a huge responsibility it is to work here at Shelterwood, and how seriously I need to take my job. 

One of my girls has started calling me Mom, and I call her Daughter. I've only known her about three weeks, but already she is definitely one of my favorites. A few days ago she came and stood next to me and laid her head on my shoulder and said "Hi Mom." I said "Hi Daughter. Are you sleepy?" and we began to talk about how she was tired and whatnot. I realized in that moment that she trusts me. Maybe not entirely, as its impossible to trust someone entirely after only knowing them a few weeks. But at the same time, she trusts me. She came up to me today and said "Can I be your first one on one? I want to tell you all about my life." It seriously melts my heart that these girls want me to be apart of their life.

More and more because of interactions like that I am realizing what a HUGE opportunity this is... I spend almost 24 hours a day with these young ladies. I see them at the best, and I see them at their worst. My coworkers and I have a lot of say on how they get to spend their free time, and who they get to spend it with. I love these girls more than words can say. I didn't think it was possible to love kids to this extent who I have only known for such a short amount of time. But I love them so much, and my heart just aches when they have a bad day, or when they selfharm or are stuck in another rut of serious depression. I sat in the room of one of my girls the other night after a tough conversation with her and listened as she cried herself to sleep. I sat in her doorway praying through my own tears, begging God to intervene in her heart and in her life and to give her comfort. My job is hard. Sometimes it sucks all the emotion out of you, and a lot of times I get to the end of the day and think "What just happened?! Did we make any progress today?!" I wish that I could rescue them, and just hold them in my arms and tell them it's going to be okay. I wish I could take away their pasts hurts and give them all a brand new start. Unfortunately, I can't do that. But I can do the best thing of all: I can show them the love of Jesus and bring them to His feet. 

A lot of my girls want nothing to do with Jesus. I can't say I blame them. A lot of them have been through hell and back and want nothing to do with that "mushy Christian stuff". A lot of them have experienced more pain than I ever will. It's heartbreaking to see it on their faces, especially the ones who find no comfort in Christ and want nothing to do with him. A lot of the girls, even the ones who consider themselves Christians, are not open to spending time doing "Christian" type things. They are all young in their faith and growing. And that is where my job comes in. It is my job to model faith for these young ladies, to be the hands and feet of Jesus and show them his tangible love. Because in reality thats why we do what we do. Of course we want them to stop partying, and self harming, and arguing with their parents. But in reality? We want them to find freedom in Jesus. We want them to find healing in his name, and to know that He will never leave them or forsake them and that their scars dont bother him one bit.

I don't want to cause my girls to stumble, or to push them away from Jesus. And sometimes that is really, really hard. It is easy to get frustrated with the girls sometimes and forget to put love and grace first. I want to ask of those who read this to please pray for myself, the Shelterwood staff, and especially my girls. I can't give names, but if you would like specific things to pray about for myself staff or the girls please let me know. We need all the prayers we can get!! God is doing great things, and it is beautiful. 

So in conclusion here is my random thought of the day for you: Do you cause the children you work with to stumble? Do you let your emotions take over when you're interacting with your kids? Are you providing opportunites for your kids to learn about Christ when you interact with them? Do you openly talk about your faith with your kids? Do you talk about how you struggle? Are you willing to put your pride aside and do whatever it takes to help your child in whatever circumstance? Are you holding things against your child from the past that need to be forgiven? Are you praying with your kids? Do you know where your kids are at in their faith? Do your kids know they can trust you? I know this is like a weird version of 20 questions, but seriously take some time and think these through. There is almost no job that is more important than guiding children through life to grow up to be Christ following adults. Take some time and assess the relationships you have with kids and teens in your life, and make changes if you need to. It may mean some work on your part- going to counseling to deal with your past pain, starting going to church on Sundays, getting up early in the morning to do prayer and devos, etc. Whatever it takes to be a good role model for your kids- do it. You won't regret it. When you're kids see how head over heals in love you are with Christ, it will open up opportunities in your relationship with them that you could have never imagined possible! 

Thank you in advance for the prayers for my littles. They are such a gift and I love them so much!! I found this song tonight, and I feel that it summarizes this blog post perfectly!