"Preach the Gospel at All Times and When Necessary Use Words"

"Daddy knows his Bible, but he doesn't know me." 

I heard this yesterday while sitting in on a meeting for youth group leaders during Tool Time from a story shared by Pastor Duncan about a little girl who's family he had stayed with a long time ago. Her father was a pastor, and spent many hours at church every week, and not a lot of time at home. Now, before you think I'm gonna go hating on parents, I am not at all. This phrase just really made me think about Christianity as a whole. 

I thought of my girls at Shelterwood complaining that their parents and many other people in their lives would oftentimes shove "Jesus answers" at them, and they never really felt like they were being listened to, their parents were simply waiting to shove another Bible verse at them to get them to shut up. They weren't comfortable talking to their parents about real issues they were facing because they didn't want anymore "christian answers" to their problems. This is part of the reason I always waited to talk about faith with my girls until they brought it up with me. Don't get me wrong, they knew where I stood. They knew what I believed, and that I prayed for them always. But the last thing I wanted to do was shove Jesus at them when they couldn't even trust me as a human. I was messaging one of my girls a few weeks ago, and she said to me "Marissa, even though you left Shelterwood you never stopped caring, ever. And I know your littles loved you and still love you very very much. I love that about you." I had Jesus talks with many of my girls. But we also had talks about being homosexual, about drugs, about alcohol, about self harm, sex, guys, stealing, addictions, pornography, and everything else under the sun before the name of Jesus ever came into one of our conversations. 

I want you to think about the phrase I mentioned before outside of a parent/child relationship. Do you really know the people you hold close to your heart? Do you know what makes them angry? Or what they love? Their favorite foods, or something that could bring a smile to their face? Do you know what makes them feel loved? Or what hurts them the most? Do you know their story? Do you really know them? If you don't, why should they be vulnerable and share where they are at in their faith with you?

I think sometimes as Christians we get really wrapped up in Jesus. Don't get me wrong that's not truly a bad thing. But, it really depends on if we are wrapped up in who Jesus really was and imitating Him, or simply just going through the motions of religion. You see, we can be GREAT people, and even great Christians who can quote the Bible backwards and forwards and are involved in 500 different ministries that take up all of our free time. Am I saying that God won't use you if thats true? Absolutely not. However, if you are so wrapped up in being a good looking Christian that the people who are closest to in your life you don't even truly know, there is a problem. 

I think the biggest thing I learned while at Shelterwood is the power of community and vulnerability. If you don't have a solid community where you can be vulnerable, your faith is not going to grow. It's just not. Jesus called us to live among each other and to treat each other with love and grace. Community isn't perfect- it's really messy actually. People are going to hurt you, and make you angry, and make you wish you could just hide in a hole and never talk to anyone ever again. But its necessary. I don't like to call people out, but if you do not have someone in your life who is continually asking you hard questions, and challenging your faith, and calling you out gracefully when you screw up, you need to re-evaluate your faith. I don't care if it's your pastor, or an older member from your church, another person from small group, or your aunt. You need someone to challenge you to help you grow. 

I want you to think about the relationships in your life and replace Daddy with your name:

"Marissa really knows the Bible, but she doesn't know me."

If I heard one of my girls say that, I would be crushed beyond words. If my niece or nephew said that, I would be crushed. If one of my friends said that, I would be crushed. I want to live my life in a way that my faith comes through my relationships, not my faith being shoved on people to try and create relationships. I firmly believe and trust that all my Shelterwood girls knowthat they could tell me anything, and I am not going to freak out on them. I am not going to tell them that Jesus is condemning them and they are a sinner and going to hell. I would give them a hug, and say "Wow this is hard, but we are going to get through it. Can we pray about this together?" I am not going to try and get them to change, but I am going to love them and speak the truth through that love. You can't try to force knowledge, logic, and truth onto to someone who only knows enough about you based upon what they observe about you, or the little knowledge they may have of you. 

I've struggled through these past 6 months as I have learned and grown more than ever in my life. My heart desperately still wants to be working with teens. Like desperately. But, God has brought me into this season for restoration and healing. My focus needs and has to be taking care of myself right now, as hard as that is for me to settle down and accept. But, I know that God will use me to work with teens again someday soon. And as I am in this season and continually growing more rapidly in my faith than I have ever in my life, I am deeply challenged by this statement. Not only do I want to continue growing in my faith, and my knowledge of the Bible, I want to challenge myself to allow myself to have vulnerable community again and let people truly get to know me, and I want to get to know them. 

So here is my random thought of the day: Do you really "know" the people you hold dear in your life? I want to encourage you to really get to know the people you hold dear in your life, and even those you don't. I challenge you to take this leap of faith and dive deep in your faith in a new and exciting way by getting to truly know those around you. It will teach you more than you will ever begin to expect. It's never, ever too late to start getting to know someone. Give it a chance, it will change your life and theirs.