Nothing Is Wasted, Not Even Your Pain

While the month of May is almost over, I just became aware that it is Mental Health Awareness month. As most of you know, this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. I wanted to take a little bit of time and talk about the recovery process from mental health issues, and some tips for those living and working with people who struggle with mental illnesses. 

Throughout my life I have struggled with a variety of mental illnesses- depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and probably others. I also struggled with the various physical symptoms that came with these- extreme fatigue, racing heart, shortness of breath, no interest in doing anything that I used to enjoy, random muscle pain, frequent panic attacks, stomach issues, inability to sleep, the list goes on and on. For years and years I struggled with really no relief. I have been in constant therapy since I was a senior in high school, desperate for any relief that I could find. 

Finally, I have found some relief within the last year. It's been a reallllyyyy long process, and a process that will be forever ongoing. But, it's gotten SO much easier. To my friends and family who are currently struggling with mental health issues, I challenge you to be open to other treatment methods than the typical Xanax. About 6 months ago,  I was doing research and discovered that at least 68% of Americans do not get their needed daily dose of Magnesium. Magnesium is responsible for running over 300 parts of your body and is critical for survival. If you have a severe deficiency, it can cause severe anxiety and depression, muscle pain, inability to sleep and a host of other issues. I started taking a supplement, and within 2 days I was a COMPLETELY different person. 90% of my anxiety? Gone. Muscle pain? Gone. Other weird symptoms? Gone. Of course, being the skeptic that I am, I decided to stop taking it after a few weeks to see if it was working.... I ended up in my therapists office balling my eyes out telling her I took a nose dive and couldn't figure out why I was doing so poorly. I mentioned I stopped taking the Magnesium, and she says to me "Marissa, you found something that made you better, you stop taking it, and now you're wondering why you're not okay?!" Newsflash: If you think something is working, it probably is. I've also started taking Inositol supplements, which have greatly helped my anxiety at night and inability to sleep. That being said, natural supplements are NOT the cure for everyone. I am not telling you to stop taking your meds, and to try this. However, I greatly, greatly encourage you to talk to your doctor about trying these supplements if you've wanted to get off your regular meds. I also encourage anyone who knows someone who struggles with these things to suggest they try magnesium to help with their mental health issues. The relief I have found in the past few months is seriously unbelievable after searching for YEARS for answers. 

For my friends who live and work with people struggling with mental illnesses, and you don't yourself here are some tips and tricks: 

• If you have a friend who struggles with social anxiety, invite them to go places with you and then DO NOT abandon them. Stay with them, and check in with them every few minutes to make sure they are doing okay. If they ask if they can leave, be open to that. Sometimes just going to a store causes sensory overload for me so the idea of going somewhere where I will have sensory overload plus having to socialize can be VERY overwhelming. 
• If you have a friend struggling with depression, be gentle. Don't ask how you can help, they probably won't know what to tell you. Tell them you are coming over to cook them dinner and to watch a movie with them. Come get them and take them on a walk with you. Don't judge them if they haven't showered or if their house is a trainwreck. 
• If you have a friend who appears to be suicidal or tells you they are suicidal, don't freak out. If you're on the phone with them, try to go to where they are at or contact someone who is nearby them (a parent, spouse, another friend, etc.) If they have a therapist, have them call their therapist. If you think they may go through with something to hurt themselves, call 911 or take them to the emergency room. They might be mad at you, but they will get over it when they realize you've saved their life. 
• If you have a friend who is having a panic attack, do not tell them to take a deep breath. 90% of the time, people who are having a panic attack feel like they are choking and can't breathe. Ask them questions to keep them grounded (What color is your shirt? Where are you? What color are your shoes? How old are you?) Don't ask them what they need, they probably won't be able to tell you. If they are hyperventilating, get them some ice cubes (or anything cold) and put it in their hands. Tell them whats happening with their body- muscles are relaxing, eyes are less dilated, breathing has slowed, etc. 

To all my friends and family struggling, don't give up hope. Yes, mental health issues SUCK. Terribly. But, there is hope. Keep pushing forward, keep reaching out for help. Don't be afraid to tell people what you need. Don't be ashamed of the process or the fact that you have to go to therapy. Be honest. Tell your employer if you are prone to panic attacks. It will be okay, I promise!! Another HUGE thing for me has been getting physically healthy- eating (mostly) unprocessed, healthy foods, working out multiple days per week and just taking care of myself. I've realized that in order to do well mentally, I need to do well physically. This came up on my running app yesterday, and it made my heart really happy: 

Remember, slow progress is still progress. Even if it is slow like a herd of turtles moving through quick sand, it is still progress. So keep pushing forward, keep working hard. I promise you, it will pay off!! We often think that our recovery will look like the left side of this picture below, but it truly is reality that it will look like the right side. Don't be ashamed of that. Color outside the lines. Be YOU, because you are the only one who can actually BE YOU. 

So here is my random thought of the day for you: If you have or know someone who is deeply struggling in the mental health world, don't give up hope. Keep praying, keep trusting, keep asking questions, and keep moving forward no matter what. If you EVER need someone to talk to, please contact me. I've been there, I've walked through that and I know how much it means to have someone who can semi understand how you're feeling. This journey has been hell, I wont deny that. But through this, I have found my passion. I cannot, cannot wait to start my masters degree and finally get to be a licensed counselor and work with kids and families. Looking back, there were many many times that I wish I could change things that have happened to me. Sometimes I still wish I could change them. I hate having to take meds just to feel "normal" But actually getting to be normal, is SO WORTH IT. So please, don't give up. God will get you through this, and he will show you the purpose in your pain. Not one part of this will be wasted.