We're Gonna Love You Through It

Many of you have probably heard this song, and while it is technically about women fighting cancer it really hit home with me today. I was sitting here at Starbucks praying intensely for a friend of mine who is going through some rough stuff and I wrote "God, I feel completely helpless. I can't do anything else, and I can't fix this for her. What else can I do?!" and I felt like God whispered this simple phrase to me;

"You're gonna love her through it." 

My mind stopped for a second and I simply thought "WHAT?! What the heck does that even mean?!"I sat back in my chair and thought back on my life as a whole. I spent a good chunk of my life questioning what "love" felt like. I knew that I was loved by my family and friends deeply, but I never had the emotional connection until midway through college. I know how it feels to feel like you aren't loved and no one cares if you exist, even if that isn't actually reality which it wasn't for me, but in my heart that's how I felt for many. many years. And yet through those years of intense struggles, God has given me an incredible gift to love very, very deeply and to understand parts of people's souls that a lot of time they don't even understand themselves. It's a gift and a curse all at the same time. 

I thought of my girls at Shelterwood, and it all made sense. I can't count the number of times I spent hours in tears late at night covering my girls in prayer, begging God to take away some of their pain and to give to me instead. Watching them struggle and fight and knowing I was powerless in their struggles was heart wrenching. But I could do one thing: I could love them through it. Most of my girls wanted nothing to do with Christ. And yet, I could show them HIS love, HIS grace, and HIS compassion and walk with them through their trials. 

I cried as I read an email from my little this morning simply because I love her, and I have loved doing life with her SO much. Seeing the changes that she has made in her life over the past year have been mindblowing. Watching her go from a sad, broken girl to a ridiculously funny, passionate, loving, compassionate, and caring teen just makes my heart burst with unbelievable joy. But, it wasn't easy. There were many, many nights of tears, anger, misunderstandings, drama, and objects flying across the room. There were many "I hate you's!" and many nights of silence as she sat and cried, and I sat and prayed. And yet one thing never, ever changed: I never stopped loving her through it. For every bad moment, there were 10 good ones. For every I hate you, there were 4 hugs and I love you's. For every moment of silence, there were 4 moments when she told me she trusted me and loved me. 

This love that I talk about though, it's not my love. I could never ever ever ever do this on my own. I tried doing that my first few weeks at Shelterwood. My love alone was conditional. I needed HIS love to be able to unconditionally love my girls. And what is incredible, is the fact that this love has made it possible to find love for people in my life who have deeply hurt me. Forgiveness seems like a possibility, when before I would never consider it. I listen to this song, and I picture it being sung to me by Jesus. 

"She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"

He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong

When you let go, I’ll hold on

When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes

When you feel lost and scared to death,

Like you can’t take one more step

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I’m gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long

I'll be the rock you lean on

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I’m gonna love you through it.

I’m gonna love you through it."

I think back on the many mentors who have incredibly blessed my life- Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Russell, Mrs. Grimes, Gina, Ashley, Kari, Amy, and many others: Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me and loving me though the roughest patches of my life. Every single moment you pointed me back to Jesus and I would get SO angry and yell at you in tears because I didn't understand. And now, I can finally say that I get it. I get it and I understand Jesus and LOVE Jesus simply because you didn't give up, and you listened to God when He called you to a purpose higher than what you might have understood at the time. 

There are many people in my life right now who don't have a relationship with Jesus that when they hear this song, they can't picture him singing it to them. And thats okay because for the first time in my life I see true purpose in my pain- to love people through their pain and hope and pray they catch a glimpse of Jesus through it just like I did through all these years. My love will do nothing for them, but His love will change their lives and I hope that I can pass it on to them. I've prayed for years that God would give me clarity, to help me see some of the pieces come together, and he has. I could cry tears of joy because God has redeemed my life from the pit, and I just want to shout it from the mountain tops. 

So here is my random thought of the day for you: Who in your life is struggling? Who could use some love, encouragement, or a smile? I'm not talking about fixing it, but being a consistent support who they know is taking them to the feet of Jesus on a daily basis when they can't take themselves? Take time today. Call someone. Send them a card. Send them a surprise package. But make sure they know and you tell them "I know your life is beyond hard right now and you feel stuck, and trapped and out of hope. But Jesus and I aren't going anywhere, and we are gonna love you though this, no matter how long it takes."