Have you ever driven through a really thick fog? You can't see anything and it is somewhat frightening. My mind has been in a brain fog since I moved back to campus almost three weeks ago. I have been physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained day after day after day. I got to a point where I simply was tired of it. I was tired of everything going "wrong" a.k.a not "my way" and having sucky days every single day. I was tired of being busy, and having to do homework, and do the tasks of daily life. I have been trying to shed some light and get out of this fog for weeks, but it felt like nothing I was doing was working. Every day was still the same, and in some ways it was really scary. But tonight I realized something- everything I was trying truly wasn't working, and I didn't have a solution of my own that would work. In this fog, I completely lost sight of the one solution that would work- Jesus.
Tonight I got to spend some time with Lonnie and Amy. Lonnie is a Family Life student here who has been battling cancer since late January of this year. Their story is incredible. And tonight, he reminded all of us about what it means to be a Christ follower during trials. He asked for prayer for everyone but himself, saying that there is always someone who is in a worse situation than yourself. His strength and reliance on God blew me out of the water. And it blew the fog right out of my mind and shed the light on the one thing that I haven't dug into recently- my faith.
I have had a terrible time the past few weeks missing my friend Ashley who just moved to Mexico for a year. I have cried many tears because I want to see her, talk to her, hug her. I have never gone to Concordia without her here, and I am just not used to not having her here. I have had trouble with some stuff for classes, finances, friend issues, faith issues, dorm situations, and probably much more and it all just took me down. I have some amazing friends here who have stood by my side and held me while I cried and for that I am extremely thankful.
Tonight I got to spend some time with Lonnie and Amy. Lonnie is a Family Life student here who has been battling cancer since late January of this year. Their story is incredible. And tonight, he reminded all of us about what it means to be a Christ follower during trials. He asked for prayer for everyone but himself, saying that there is always someone who is in a worse situation than yourself. His strength and reliance on God blew me out of the water. And it blew the fog right out of my mind and shed the light on the one thing that I haven't dug into recently- my faith.
I have had a terrible time the past few weeks missing my friend Ashley who just moved to Mexico for a year. I have cried many tears because I want to see her, talk to her, hug her. I have never gone to Concordia without her here, and I am just not used to not having her here. I have had trouble with some stuff for classes, finances, friend issues, faith issues, dorm situations, and probably much more and it all just took me down. I have some amazing friends here who have stood by my side and held me while I cried and for that I am extremely thankful.
I went into this year thinking everything would be the same, and I would be just fine. I made myself believe I wouldn't miss Ashley and there would be no tears. I convinced myself that even with all the changes that have taken place, my life here would be the same that it has been for the past 2 years. And I realized tonight, I was wrong.
Things have changed. This is a new year, a new start. I am not the same person I was when I left here in May, nor will I be when I leave again. Change is not bad. "New" is not bad. And yet I have been focusing on the bad and hating the new since before I even got back here. I have been trying to act as if nothing has changed in fear of forgetting how great those things were, and yet in a lot of ways everything has changed. It doesn't mean that these memories are meaningless, or that I will no longer care about someone because they are not physically here or our relationship has changed. It is just new, and different, and it may take some time to adjust and that is okay.
So here is my random thought of the day for you- God has never left you. Even on the foggiest day when you can't see an inch in front of you and you just scream and cry in tears of frustration He is there. Trust Him. He will get you out of this fog eventually, even if it takes weeks like it did for me. He loves you.
Things have changed. This is a new year, a new start. I am not the same person I was when I left here in May, nor will I be when I leave again. Change is not bad. "New" is not bad. And yet I have been focusing on the bad and hating the new since before I even got back here. I have been trying to act as if nothing has changed in fear of forgetting how great those things were, and yet in a lot of ways everything has changed. It doesn't mean that these memories are meaningless, or that I will no longer care about someone because they are not physically here or our relationship has changed. It is just new, and different, and it may take some time to adjust and that is okay.
So here is my random thought of the day for you- God has never left you. Even on the foggiest day when you can't see an inch in front of you and you just scream and cry in tears of frustration He is there. Trust Him. He will get you out of this fog eventually, even if it takes weeks like it did for me. He loves you.
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