Alone.
We've all been there, whether you are brave enough to admit it or not. That moment of despair, that hopeless, heart wrenching, breath stealing, excruciating time of pain. That time when you feel that no one on this earth could understand the trial you are facing. You feel utterly and hopelessly alone. And to be honest? You are probably right. There is no one on this earth who can probably understand your pain or problem in specific because it is unique to you. I don't know about you, but that is a really terrifying thought. I will admit to you, there have been many, many, many times throughout my life, especially over the past few years that I have felt alone in my times of struggle. It is terrifying, heart breaking, frustrating and confusing. I struggled for so long to connect these times to my faith as well.
I have many, many memories of crying out to God, begging him to just show me how he was still with me, to give me even a moment of comfort and a true realization that I was not alone in the deep pain that I was facing. A lot of times? It appeared that nothing happened. I would pray, and I would still feel the same: awful. This caused me to question my faith many times and wonder "God, why should I believe you when you say you never leave me?! I feel so alone in this trial, I beg for your comfort and presence and here I sit, hurting and hopeless!" I would get sooooo angry because I felt that not even God or Jesus could relate to my pain, much less anyone on earth. I would cry in frustration thinking "Jesus doesn't know what it is like to feel alone. God was always with him and he never doubted it like I do. He had no question that God was with him at all times! Why should I think he can relate to me and my pain?!"
I have many, many memories of crying out to God, begging him to just show me how he was still with me, to give me even a moment of comfort and a true realization that I was not alone in the deep pain that I was facing. A lot of times? It appeared that nothing happened. I would pray, and I would still feel the same: awful. This caused me to question my faith many times and wonder "God, why should I believe you when you say you never leave me?! I feel so alone in this trial, I beg for your comfort and presence and here I sit, hurting and hopeless!" I would get sooooo angry because I felt that not even God or Jesus could relate to my pain, much less anyone on earth. I would cry in frustration thinking "Jesus doesn't know what it is like to feel alone. God was always with him and he never doubted it like I do. He had no question that God was with him at all times! Why should I think he can relate to me and my pain?!"
At Tool Time this past weekend, a guy I go to school with named Thomas was one of the speakers and spoke on this very topic. Through his message, the Holy Spirit showed me a very, very clear realization: Jesus can in fact relate to my pain! Thomas first talked about the guilt we experience when we do something wrong. That awful, gut wrenching, I sorta wanna throw up kinda feeling. He said "Times that feeling by every single person ever in existence and put that on Jesus. Imagine that. That is how he felt on the cross!" That, in itself was a mind-blowing revelation for me. But then he took it one step further.
He talked about the part when Jesus screams "My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?!" I have heard and read this statement probably over 200 times over my life. But I have never honestly thought it through. Ever. Until Thomas talked about it on Saturday. Think about that statement for a second.... Now, I don't believe that God actually abandoned Jesus at the cross. No, he promises never to leave us and that is the beauty in this that I will talk more about later. BUT. I do believe that God allowed Jesus to feel as if he was truly alone, if even for just a few minutes before he died. Jesus understood what it is like for us when we feel like God has turned his back on us. He gets it. Did you catch that?! Jesus felt alone! He can relate to us in our times of immense trial and unexplainable pain and suffering because he has been there and done that! WOW. I don't know if that is as mind blowing of a revelation for you as it was for me, but my mind and heart have not been the same since that night. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can apply my faith to the pain I face! Hallelujah!
So here is my random thought of the day for you: You are going to feel alone at some point in your life. It is truly inevitable. BUT. The beautiful thing is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NOT NOW, NOT EVER. Yes, you are going to feel like you are at times and it will be very, very hard and very painful. But you know what? God is right at your side, he hasn't left you. And Jesus? He is your homeboy. He has got your back. He has been there and done that. You know when you find someone who can kinda relate to your situation? and you are like "OH MY GOODNESS! YOU TOO?!" Thats what Jesus is for us! No matter what trial or temptation or sadness you are facing he gets it! And he will sit with you when you feel alone and just cry it out with you and be like "Dude. I remember what that felt like. Holy cow. WORST MOMENTS EVER. But you know what? I'm in eternity now with our Abba and it was SO worth it. And I would do it again in a heartbeat just so that I can share these moments with you and you can eventually come spend eternity in heaven with me. So come sit with me, and come hurt with me and we will get through this together. Because I am NEVER going to leave your side and you will NEVER be alone!" So, the next time you are simply feeling like no one can comprehend the pain you are in, run as fast as you can to the arms of Jesus and let him hold you and cry with you. He will carry you through this my friend. You are not alone!
So here is my random thought of the day for you: You are going to feel alone at some point in your life. It is truly inevitable. BUT. The beautiful thing is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NOT NOW, NOT EVER. Yes, you are going to feel like you are at times and it will be very, very hard and very painful. But you know what? God is right at your side, he hasn't left you. And Jesus? He is your homeboy. He has got your back. He has been there and done that. You know when you find someone who can kinda relate to your situation? and you are like "OH MY GOODNESS! YOU TOO?!" Thats what Jesus is for us! No matter what trial or temptation or sadness you are facing he gets it! And he will sit with you when you feel alone and just cry it out with you and be like "Dude. I remember what that felt like. Holy cow. WORST MOMENTS EVER. But you know what? I'm in eternity now with our Abba and it was SO worth it. And I would do it again in a heartbeat just so that I can share these moments with you and you can eventually come spend eternity in heaven with me. So come sit with me, and come hurt with me and we will get through this together. Because I am NEVER going to leave your side and you will NEVER be alone!" So, the next time you are simply feeling like no one can comprehend the pain you are in, run as fast as you can to the arms of Jesus and let him hold you and cry with you. He will carry you through this my friend. You are not alone!
