Waiting

One of my good friends posted a song on FB today and it has become one of my favorites. It is called Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz. It perfectly describes the spot in my life where I am at right now.

There is a certain situation that I have had to put into God's hands over and over again. I kept saying "I know God is going to reopen the door eventually if I let Him handle it." Well, I eventually realized that God won't reopen doors if you refuse to shut them in the first place. So, recently I shut the door on this situation and I am letting God take over from here. It is hard for me to sit here and be okay with God telling me "no". Or at least, "Not right now." I want this door reopened, and I want it opened now.

We live in a society that is so used to getting what we want when we want it. We don't have to wait for almost anything, and yet sometimes that is how God works- He makes us wait until the timing is right. But in reality- that door in my life may never open again. And I have to learn how to be okay with that. We have to remember that God has such a better plan for us, better than we can even imagine. God has a reason for each and every think that we go through- we just can't see the purpose because of our perspective. We have to trust Him in all things.

So here I wait. Waiting for the door possibly to reopen, or for God to open a new door. I tend to be an impatient person, so this has already been an interesting journey. I don't like waiting, but the hope of God bringing me to something that will help me is worth the wait. No one said it will be easy, but it is worth it, no matter the cost.

Sweet Summertime

Looking back, I still cannot believe a year has gone by since last summer. I cannot believe how far I have come in so many various areas of my life. It is astounding to me. I absolutely loved last summer. I went through some rough stuff, but it was a fantastic summer. I learned a lot, and had a lot of fun with my friends. I am looking forward to the same thing this summer. I can't wait for all my friends to get home so we can catch up and spend time together. I already have spent most of the day outside today, and I just love it. I love my morning bike rides, and just relaxing laying out in the sun listening to my music. Summer is such a great gift from God. It gives us a chance to relax in the warmth and just enjoy the gifts He has given us. One day I will be an adult, and won't have nearly as much time to enjoy it, so I am taking advantage of this time I have now. Have a blessed summer everyone!! <3

Looking back, I am always going to smile :)

It's official- I am no longer a freshman. I am currently sitting at home in my loft bed. It is really strange to think that I'm done until the fall, and I won't be seeing most of my Concordia friends until then. I have learned sooooooooo much this year, it is incredible. And it truly did go by way too fast. For years people have told me that high school will go by fast, and college will fly bye, but I never believed them. Now I do. I am sad to be leaving behind this part of my past, but I am excited for the future. I wanted to share some highlights of the things that I learned this year;

1. God really does take every situation in our lives and use it for something good. Even if it seems nothing good can come out of a situation, God will use it somehow.
2. Trust God's timing and His plan. God knew what he was doing when he put me in Esther Dorm this year. He gave me the environment and people that I would need right when I needed them and for that I am forever thankful.
3. Read your Bible even when you don't want too. Every time I was upset this year, my friend Ashley would tell me to read Psalms. I never wanted to, but it always helps.
4. Never underestimate prayer. It is a powerful thing. Some of my most treasured memories are of times praying with my friends.
5. Don't go into college thinking that you can't have as good of friends in college that you did in high school. I found a few amazing people at Concordia, and while our relationships are different than those with my high school friends, I love my Concordia friends just as much as my high school friends and that was something I never thought could be possible.
6. Don't be afraid to love people even though it hurts. People will leave, and sometimes the pain is unbearable, but it is worth it in the end.
7. You can fit an unbelievable amount of stuff in a dorm room even though there isn't a ton of space.
8. Enjoy the time you have. You are only in college once. So take a break from studying and go play in the rain or go on a midnight slurpee run. Grades on a test will be forgotten, but memories and relationships you build last forever.
9. Don't underestimate music and song lyrics. Some days, that is the only reason I survived.
10. Hold on to every single moment. Give someone a hug and hold them a little longer. Laugh till you cry and cry until you laugh. Dance in the rain, act like your five. Treasure each and every breath that God has given you. There may be a lot of things that are wrong in this life, but it is still the life that God has given us, and we need to treasure it.

I learned so much my freshman year about God, friends, family, school and so much more. College is a great place to be- through the hard times and the good times. Thank you to everyone who helped get me to where I am today, and I look forward to the future.

These are some good times, So take a good look around. You may not know it now, But you're gonna miss this.

I'm going to miss this.

Looking back, there has been a lot of hard things that I have gone on this year. To say the least, it has been an "interesting" Freshman year. For a while there was part of me that could not wait to get this year done and behind me. But looking back now, I have seen that this has probably been one of the best years of my life, and I am going to miss this. I am going to miss being a naive freshman where everything in college is new and there is something different on every new page.

I am going to miss the life I have made here at Concordia. I am going to miss my friends, and my daily routine. I am going to especially miss my dorm. Johnny is going to be fun, but I truly love my Esther girls. I am especially going to miss my RA and SLR. College is going to go by way too fast. Unfortunately I am already well aware of this. I am excited for what the future brings, but I am going to miss this.

It's the week of "Lasts"

Everyone has had moments like this... You realize it is your last friday of high school or your last day to live in a certain place before you move. It is kind of a sad, but exciting feeling. I have been having a lot of "lasts" moments today, and it will be a whole week filled with lasts. Today is my last Sunday on campus as a freshman. It is extremely weird for me to think about, and sad at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for next fall- just sad that this part of my life is coming to an end.

Tomorrow will be my last Monday, then Tuesday, etc. all throughout the week. Until Friday, when it will be my last night in Esther dorm, and Saturday when I leave. I'm trying not to focus on leaving, and think about more positive things like Tuesday is my last Psychology class!

While I am sad about my freshman year coming to an end, I have to keep in mind that God has got soooo much awesome stuff planned for me the next 3 years at Concordia. A lot of not so great stuff has happened this year, and a lot of awesome stuff has happened as well. But God is going to take all of it and give me something even better in the next few years that will help me to move even farther forward. I might not like it right now, but I know that I will look back and be in such awe with what God has done in my life. It's cool to think about.

"When you look back on times we had I hope you smile. And know that through the good and through the bad I was on your side.."

My freshman year of college is almost over. I honestly cannot believe it. It has gone by so fast, it amazes me. I am kind of sad to be leaving my dorm... the 2011 Esther girls are just amazing. We have the best RA and SLR, and for the most part everyone in our dorm just loves each other. I am going to miss seeing their faces every day. But, I think Johnny dorm next year will be fun too- just a new experience :)

Looking back at this past year, I have seen how far I have come in many various ways. Some things in my life have been resolved, while others still haven't been. But, I have learned that life isn't about the end result of things- It is all about the journey getting there. This journey hasn't been easy, and the rest of the journey isn't going to get any easier, but I am ready to face it head on.

I am not focusing on getting to a certain point in my life anymore where suddenly everything is "okay". I am never going to have a day where I wake up and suddenly every problem in my life is solved. Instead, I am focusing on how I am going through each day. I am learning that it is okay to have a great day, but still cry at the end of the day when a situation becomes too much. And it's okay to have a really bad day, but end the day laughing hysterically and having fun. Life isn't about following a certain pattern that you have to stick to just because that is how it has always been. Life is about change- and as much as I hate it I am starting to embrace it, because once you can look back and see positive changes you have made in your life, it is a very fulfilling feeling.

Whenever I look back at this year of my life, I am definitely going to smile, because even though it has been a hard climb, I know it has just brought me one step closer to my eternal reward. And that makes everything worth it.

45 days, 1,080 hours, 64,800 minutes

Tomorrow. Tomorrow Lent is done. Tomorrow I can get on Facebook if I want too. I cannot believe it has been 45 days since I have been on Facebook. I don't really miss it. I don't miss the distraction, I don't miss it giving me something to do, I don't really miss it at all. Am I looking forward to getting back on? Not really. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward too. Sure, it will be nice to read the posts that people have left me and such, but do I think there is anything life altering waiting for me? Not really.  I feel like people get too hyped up over Facebook these days. Sometimes I miss the simpler life where we didn't base our relationships on online communications or cell phones. What ever happened to writing letters? I still frequently send letters simply because I love getting mail and it gives me something to look forward too. Sigh. Oh well. I guess things are different now. But that doesn't mean I have to give in :) Being off Facebook has really made me value the relationships that I have with people that aren't based around technology. It is really refreshing. If you are on Facebook, try staying off it for a while. It is really nice.