Painting Pictures of Egypt

To start, 2011 has been amazing so far. Just simply amazing. Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit my high school for the afternoon, and it opened my eyes to how far I have come in the past few months. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my high school, why else would I go there a bunch of times over Christmas break? But here is what I realized; I don't fit there spiritually anymore. I can't go back and relive it, and I don't really want too anymore. Here are some lyrics to one of my favorite songs by Sara Groves:

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned 


I have been saying for a while that I miss the loving, family, environment of my high school, and how my school helped me to stick close to my faith. But going back yesterday I realized something. The environment has little to do with your faith growing. I have grown sooooo much in my faith since leaving WCA. I have learned so much, and if I were able to go back, I wouldn't fit there anymore.I was in chapel yesterday and just seeing how people were acting were making me sick. Talking the entire time the speaker was, laughing during worship, it was just sick. Not everyone was doing this, but quite a few of them. They don't realize what they have. We sang the song Hosanna, and it was just beautiful. God's presence was definitely there, but it was like most of them didn't even know it. They were too busy talking. Maybe this sounds judgmental, but I am not trying to be. I just find it really sad. I wish they could see how absolutely amazing God is right now while they are still in high school. My already graduated friend and I were talking about how we have both recently discovered how AMAZING God is and how deep His love is for us. We were saying about how we wished the high schoolars could see how amazing He is. But then we realized, it doesn't really have to do with age. It's just a personal spot that you have to reach all on your own. You have to choose to go farther. It is soooooo worth it. Go forward. Even through the rain. Its a process, but it is worth it. 


God has become even more real to me in the past few days. I have been praying that God will help me to not gossip anymore. I was a little worried, because when I go to WCA, there are a couple of teachers that I usually go to for guidance. I have realized that usually I am complaining to them about people instead of truly going for guidance on the situation, and I don't want to do that anymore. I knew they would want to know how things were going, and I was just hoping that I could keep my mouth shut and only say limited details and keep from gossiping. God was so cool. It ended up, I had time to talk to each of the teachers, and I was able to catch them up on my life- but we did not have enough time to talk in depth about anything. I realized later that this was a total God thing. I felt content, because I got to see and talk to everyone that I wanted to, yet I didn't gossip at all and it felt really good. God helped me by making our time together limited, and I think that is pretty cool, and for me a total answer to prayer. 


If you haven't read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, go get it. I haven't finished it yet, but I am already impressed by it, and 2 people have recently recommended that I read it. It is all about God's incredible love for us, and how to show that love to others. 


I am learning what I need in order to live, and who I need. I am realizing more and more that God is who we need to rely on, not humans. It is a very hard lesson to learn, and I am still learning it. I don't necessarily need people, but I do need God. And for the first time in my life, I think I am okay with that. 


If you don't get anything else out of this post, know that God loves you soooooooooooo much! I can't say that enough.